


Monsters vs. Gods (Now with more fish!)

by Jsyrin, Rex_Lupin



Series: ToZverse [4]
Category: Ancient Greek Religion & Lore, Neon Genesis Evangelion
Genre: Conspiracy, Domestic Fluff, F/F, Fluff and Humor, Gods Are Bastards, Hades Is Nice In This One, Hurt/Comfort, It's happening, Multi, Other, Other Additional Tags to Be Added, Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder - PTSD, Scylla is the Daughter of Lamia in This One, Siege of Olympus, making things better
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-06-16
Updated: 2020-09-19
Packaged: 2021-03-03 20:34:34
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence, Rape/Non-Con
Chapters: 15
Words: 34,757
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/24751684
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Jsyrin/pseuds/Jsyrin, https://archiveofourown.org/users/Rex_Lupin/pseuds/Rex_Lupin
Summary: Gaghiel, feeling useless from her death twice, wishes to go on a vacation - and drags her little sister Leliel along, to a land filled with shining seas, a simple land with simple problems.And cruel gods who curse people for petty reasons, known locally as the Olympians.Oh no.
Relationships: Gaghiel/Lamia
Series: ToZverse [4]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1625149
Comments: 12
Kudos: 44





	1. A Shining Sea

Gaghiel sighed as she twiddled her thumbs, kicking her feet idly as she looked out over the endless, shining sea. Even now, a few years after her second death, she felt… not morose, perhaps, but certainly it was… not an amazing feeling.

To have been reborn, to have enjoyed such a fleeting amount of time with her soul gifted the infinite pleasures of free will and emotion before it was all ripped away and cast her into the limbo of the Doors of Guf for the better part of three hundred years while her siblings and cousins rebuilt the world.

Still, it wasn’t so bad, she thought. Those three hundred years she spent dead were more like a long nap, and she’d actually woken up stronger than ever thanks to the refinements that auntie Yui (both of them, actually) made to the biotech in their cores before she was resurrected.

But she still couldn’t help but think of-

_ Flashes of pain. _

_ Burning. _

_ Explosions. _

_ Abominations. _

_ Death. _

-that day without shuddering and wanting to throw up. Even if she’d been okay afterwards, even if all her other siblings were all past that incident now- Gaghiel couldn’t put it out of her mind. And she didn’t know why.

Even  _ Ramiel _ was over the pain of her own death and yet- 

And yet…

Gaghiel shuddered and clenched her fist against the sand, gritting her teeth as she tried to forget the feeling of crushing flesh and ripping pain.

"Memories again?" 

Gaghiel turned. There, standing on the beach next to her, was Leliel. The Angel of the Night. One of her little sisters. 

Not trusting her words, Gaghiel nodded. 

"I think we all have them," Leliel said softly. "Most of us just pretend we don't and try to cover it up instead. Yes, even Ramiel." 

"I don't," Gaghiel said bitterly. "Guess I'm just that much more useless, aren't I?" 

"You're not useless," her little sister said firmly. "If anything, you're  _ far  _ more open than-" 

"I was useless  _ then!"  _ Gaghiel roared, tears flowing from her eyes. "I didn't get to do  _ anything!  _ All I did was  _ die!  _ And maybe-" 

She turned, and stopped, speechless. Leliel had tears shimmering in the corners of her eyes, and she was covering her mouth. "You... wish to have stayed dead?" she whispered softly. 

Gaghiel started, then stopped. "...Yes! No? Maybe! I don't know... I just-" 

That was as far as she got before Leliel wrapped her into a hug. "I'm sorry, big sister," the younger Angel whispered. "I didn't think. I should have. I'm sorry. I'm so, so sorry..." 

“It’s not your fault,” Gaghiel sighed, leaning into Leliel’s hug and clinging on tight, as if she could hold herself together, hold herself from falling apart in Leliel’s arms if she just squeezed hard enough. “It’s- I’m… I just… I wanted to be useful… the whole time… when I was first born, I thought I could be useful, but even then, I was only ever a distraction and ADAM was taken from me before I could even  _ figure out where our progenitor was _ . And… and then I was born again and it was  _ so beautiful _ on a world with  _ so many new things _ and- and I… I didn’t have any real stake in what happened but I wanted to  _ protect _ what little I had and I couldn’t do a damn thing! Everything I did in that fight was because Azariel guided me around because my Angel form can’t move well enough out of water to be anything more than an obstacle!”

"I'm... sorry," Leliel offered. "I don't know of any other way to help you than send you on a vacation in some other world. It feels like all I actually do, these days..." 

“Do you… maybe wanna come with me, then?” Gaghiel looked up at Leliel, eyes shining with tears as she brushed bone white hair from her face and sniffled a bit. “It could be the two of us, just… relaxing and doing something useful for once? Helping people… or-or I dunno, maybe go see tourist sights?”

Leliel smiled brightly. “I’d love that, Big Sis!”

“Great!” Gaghiel hugged Leliel tighter for a moment before letting go and standing up, smiling wide as she spread her arms out. “As nice as this sea is here, it’s a little too close to home… So… let’s go someplace fun! Someplace where we can do stuff without ever feeling like we’re useless!”

She paused. “...Any ideas?”

Leliel tilted her head as she stood up with Gaghiel, a swirling vortex of black forming beneath her feet as she began to open a portal to lands unknown. “I have an idea, perhaps. But we won’t know for sure if it’s a place we’ll be happy with until we get there.”

She smiled quietly as she leaned against Gaghiel, giggling a bit as she looked out over the shimmering ocean view. “I think it’ll be nice to have a vacation for once… Let Tabris do all the ferry work between dimensions for a while.”

With a snap of her fingers, Leliel thrust the pair of them far, far away, their combined gentle laughter floating on the wind as all trace of their presence in Halkeginia faded away with the rolling waves of dimensional travel.

<>

Sea.

A shining sea.

Not the same endless shining sea that Gaghiel looked out over on Halkeginia, but one dotted with islands, full of little bits of strife and conflict and  _ life _ , so simple and small and ancient. A land of robes, swords, heroes and monsters.

A land of people who just wanted to make their living.

A simple land, one with none of the horrible complexities of the modern era.

In short… it was perfect.

Gaghiel sighed happily as she smelled the Mediterranean sea breeze, twirling happily through the sandy beach and shivering at how much  _ raw potential _ filled the air- not just in what she could do, but in the sheer amount of untapped  _ magic _ that filled every inch of soil and air and drop of water alike. “It’s amazing here, Leliel! It’s… it’s beautiful!”

“I wanted for something simple,” the younger Angel admitted. “And the Void provided.”

“Thank you,” Gaghiel whispered, just loud enough to be heard over the waves, stepping forward and hugging Leliel tightly. “Thank you  _ so much _ . You’re the  _ best _ little sister, and don’t let anyone else ever tell you otherwise.”

Leliel laughed, patting her big sister on the back. “Not even myself?” she enquired playfully.

“ _ Especially _ not yourself,” Gaghiel admonished. “No self-deprecation. I’m not allowing it.”

Smiling, Leliel hugged Gaghiel back. “Okay, big sis.” Still smiling, she stepped back. “I’m going to take a nap under the nearest tree. Are you going to join me?”

Gaghiel considered that. “Nah,” she decided. “I’m going on a swim.”

And with that declaration, she saluted cheekily, spun in place, and dived into the shimmering blue waters, laughing all the way.

Leliel watched her go, smiling. Just for a moment, a fleeting moment, that smile left her eyes. “I should have told her about the gods. But no... She’ll handle herself.” And just like that, her eyes shone once more, wisps of happiness dancing deep in those pools of red...

The Angel of Night turned and wandered off to look for a nice shady tree to nap under.

<>

Gaghiel whooped loudly as she dove through the waves, happily expanding out into a smaller version of her true form as she spun and crashed, leaping through the waves and diving deep against the currents. It was something wonderful, she thought, to swim in a sea so alive and warm and teeming with life that it seemed almost unreal compared to the comparatively cold and boring ocean just off the coast of Tristain.

Oh sure, there’d been plenty of fish and such, spirits of the water and interesting marine life, but it was nothing compared to the sheer variety she could sense out in the water, as if it were just pulsing and throbbing and waiting for her to find them.

That is- it was amazing, until she heard…  _ it _ .

A cry for help.

A bellow of rage.

Teeming sadness and corruption, oozing at the edge of her perception and poisoning the water for miles around, darkening the brightness of life in the ocean into a toxic, swirling, hateful gloom.

It  _ hurt _ .

It hurt her soul, made her burn with shame and shared pain and rage- what sort of thing could possibly hold so much anguish in their body that it infected the entire ocean with its pleas for help?

Gaghiel shuddered, shaking her head and making a snap decision.

She turned away from that shining beacon of life she could feel near the bottom of the sea. No, that wasn’t what needed her right now.

What needed her attention was far away, almost near a distant land but still within her grasp.

She could sense the currents, sense the swirling mayhem that was at the epicenter.

She swam, she swam and swam and swam, pushing herself as fast as she could go.

She ignored how the seas seemed to twist around her, ignored the sensations of the water that seemed almost alarmed at her presence, ignored the creatures that tried to chase after her thunderous wake.

She swam until she found the source of the cries.

She shuddered and halted, shifting into her human form beneath the waves and holding her hands over her mouth in sheer horror at the beast she had found.

An enormous, screaming, hideous bladder, a fishlike  _ thing _ nearly as large as Gaghiel’s true form. It screamed and wailed, silent to all but Gaghiel, its soul crying out in anguish as chains bit into its flesh, weeping sores polluting the waters with foul ichor.

Even as it wept and thrashed, its mouth opened, hideous teeth inside of a gaping maw that drew in water like an endless, vacuous pump that created a whirlpool on the surface strong enough to drag any ship under.

Gaghiel shuddered and tried not to vomit even as she hardened her resolve.

This was why she was here, wasn’t it? To be herself, to help people that the others never would have found, never would have tried to help, never could have helped at all.

She drew closer to the body of the beast as she chewed on her lip, using the light of her soul to keep from being drawn into its- no,  _ her _ body.

With a single pulse of her soul, she drew the beast’s attention, opening her mind to the other poor soul and sending a message.

_ My name is Gaghiel, the angel of the fish and roaring beast of god. I’m here to help you. What’s your name? _


	2. A Cry for Help

Charybdis moaned piteously as she retold her story to Gaghiel, blubbering and weeping both in the sheer agony that was her existence and also the sheer joy she felt that some kind stranger was willing to help her- not just put her out of her misery, but truly free her from her bonds and deliver her from the suffering that was this cursed monstrous body she now inhabited.

“Thank you…” she projected with every fiber of her being, throwing gratitude into every last motion she could make as Gaghiel hugged her, one titanic being wrapped around another. “Thank you… so much…”

“I’m here,” the Angel projected back. “I’m here and I’m helping. I can free you from your curse, I can transform it into beauty, I can even give you back your human form... You’re safe. You’ll be safe.”

A curious red orb floated through the currents, into the maw of Charybdis, and she felt a great  _ change _ overcome her.

Her hunger  _ vanished _ as her power  _ soared,  _ her form  _ shifted,  _ becoming that much more sleek...

For a moment, a single moment, an entirely different titanic being cradled another, before the moment was over and two spluttering, gasping human heads broke the surface.

“Thank you...” Charbydis whispered at last with her  _ human _ voice, hoarse from disuse, but eternally grateful nonetheless. “I cannot thank you enough...”

“Anything to help a fellow sister of the sea,” Gaghiel shook her head, holding Charybdis tight and squeezing her tightly, tears flowing down her face as she smiled broadly at the sheer  _ joy _ in Charybdis’ soul. “Anything at all, from me to you. Welcome to the family, my new, dearest sister.”

At that, however, Charybdis’ eyes widened. “I... I am not alone in this plight, fair Angel. Another sings her pain from across the strait, another is as trapped as I was... Could you possibly help her too?”

“I hear her pain as well,” Gaghiel nodded, shuddering as the feeling of the other being’s anguish became a stark and sudden pain in her heart, distinguished now from the endless depths of horror that Charybdis had felt for so long. She bit her lip and hugged Charybdis gently before letting the other Angel swim on her own, backing away and standing atop the waves as she looked past the rolling waves to the sheer cliff across the strait.

Where- 

There.

A rolling miasma of pain and anguish, hunger that could not be sated.

She shook her head and took a deep breath, resolutely rising up into the air with the power of her AT Field, propelling herself in what might as well have been a very long, slow jump. As she approached, the miasma intensified, full of roiling regret and pain, suffering and anguish, an unending hunger for the flesh of mortals.

_ Who dares approach me!? _

The miasma almost spoke for the being, shouting out with furious hatred tinged with fear- the only ones who’d ever wish to approach her were gods or heroes, after all, and she had no wish to die. Six massive, bestial heads lashed out, each of them striking at Gaghiel with no effect as she simply turned them away with the light of her soul, projecting nothing but good will until she crashed into the massive beast trapped within the cave, summoning her true form and wrapping around the creature- the girl who had been forced into this piteous, horrible form.

"Who did this to you?" she murmured as she sent out soothing pulses of her Soul to calm the rage and soothe the beast. "Who goes around turning girls into monsters... Who could be so heinous, so cruel?" 

She wrapped the monster into a hug of titanic proportions, murmuring calming thoughts to the anguished girl. "I will take away your pain," she declared. "I will free you from your bonds. I will give you back your human form, I will soothe your unending hunger. I am the Roaring Beast of God. I  _ will  _ help you." 

She produced another Core from... somewhere, gently pressing it against the monster's flesh. 

Once more, the monstrous form changed, into something just a  _ bit  _ different, before the newest Angel twisted and  _ shrunk,  _ monster receding and  _ human  _ emerging, and Gaghiel  _ shifted  _ along with her. Once again, she wrapped the human into a tearful hug. "It's okay," she whispered. "It's so, very okay. I'm here. You're safe. You're safe..." 

“Scylla,” the girl whispered quietly, as she sunk into Gaghiel’s hug, hot tears of relief and joy staining Gaghiel’s clothes as she wrapped her arms tight and squeezed as if Gaghiel were her lifeline. “M-my name is Scylla… T-thank you… thank you so much…”

"I'm an Angel," Gaghiel murmured. "I- for once in my life, I can honestly, truly  _ help. _ I cannot  _ not _ do that. Your soul was in pain... I helped you. I helped Charybdis. I... I  _ help."  _

She hugged the girl gently, soothingly. "Tell me your story. Tell me your pain. Let it all out... Let out your troubles and you will feel lighter. This, I promise you." 

Scylla nodded and swallowed thickly, shuddering as she wiped tears from her eyes and began speaking. 

“I… It was so long ago now… I barely even remember… but… I was beautiful once before, when I was but the daughter of Phorkys and Crataeis. I was a goddess once, lesser than the Olympians I may be but still… I fell in love… I had fallen in love with Glaucus, another sea god… but I before I could truly express my love, I was claimed by Lord Poseidon as a concubine…” Scylla started, stuttering and tripping over her words as she tried to remember her past after so many years of isolation. “Lady Amphitrite became jealous of the attention, and conspired with my rival for Glaucus’ affections, Circe. They cursed me, poisoned my body and blood and bound me to the cliffs to suffer for a crime that was not my fault.”

“Such cruelty...” Gaghiel whispered. “Such pettiness that feels so far from uncommon in this world... What other horrors may lie in these beautiful lands? What injustices are strewn around these islands?” She took Scylla’s hands in her own, looking her deep in the eyes. “I wish to seek out those who have been wronged. All of them. I wish to free them from their torments, just as I have freed Charybdis and you... Will you come with me? And...” She looked across from the rock, where the other demigoddess climbed from the sea, “Will you come with me too? Will you both join me in a quest to free the world of injustice?”

“I shall,” Scylla nodded, the despair in her heart forging itself into righteous fury and determination as Gaghiel spoke, clenching her fist as she pushed herself up and cast her doubts to the wind. “As long as the gods play with those they consider lesser than them, as long as they punish those who are innocent by turning them into beasts and setting upon them heroes to slay them, I will follow you, sister. I will follow until my last, dying breath.”

“And I as well!” Charybdis announced, climbing up besides Scylla and grinning sharply, eyes full of vengeance as she stared off over the ocean. “To free our brothers and sisters of their cruel and unjust punishments, I will cross any barrier, face any obstacle!”

Gaghiel nodded solemnly. “Then it is decided.” She paused. “...I should tell Leliel not to worry...”

“Leliel… a name similar to your own. Is she another sister?” Charybdis asked, gently pressing herself against Gaghiel as Scylla pressed herself against Gaghiel’s other side, both of the newly minted Angels hugging Gaghiel tight as if to make up for their untold years of isolation and lack of friendly touch.

Gaghiel smiled. "Yes... One of many. My family is large and plentiful, welcoming all who wish to become a part of it..." She paused. "...Mind you, we occasionally ignore Tabris as a member of the family, but that is a case of sibling rivalry, nothing more." 

She hugged the girls again. "Come. Swim with me. Swim with me, to the shores of an island not far from here... Swim with me, and meet more of your new family." 

Charybdis and Scylla nodded as they leapt into the water, trilling joyfully as they took on their new, beautiful forms- a great, shimmering serpent for Charybdis, and a massive, glittering hydra for Scylla- and swam about alongside Gaghiel, the three of them splashing and churning the water to froth as they powered through the chopping ocean waves, filling the air with their great bellows of joy and swells of happiness.

As the trio leapt from the waters at last, at the edge of the island Gaghiel and Leliel had first landed on, there was a conspicuous lack of Leliel to greet them. The three new sisters scoured the island for any sign of an Angel just sleeping under a tree, but found nothing. 

"Not even a note," Gaghiel fretted. "What if something happened to her? What if- wait, I can just ping." 

She closed her eyes, her new little sisters watching in undisguised curiosity, as her Soul itself  _ swelled  _ and-

**_[ L E L I E L ! ]_ **

With a swirl of shadows, Leliel appeared next to Gaghiel with some kind of street food in her hand, munching on a whole roasted chicken thigh.

“Ah, you’re back from your swim!” Leliel blinked slowly as she spoke, turning to face the other two Angels, who’d immediately recoiled from Leliel’s sudden appearance.

"Leliel, those are Scylla and Charybdis," Gaghiel introduced politely. "Scylla, Charybdis, this is Leliel, my little sister  _ who disappeared, no note, I was so worried something had  _ **_happened_ ** _ to you-"  _

“Sorry Gaghiel, I thought you’d be gone longer so I decided to explore,” Leliel shrugged and gently hugged Gaghiel so she wouldn’t disturb her bread plate thing. “Did you know there’s a city barely half a mile from here?”

She paused and looked over at Scylla and Charybdis, the former of whom seemed a bit nauseous at the smell of cooked meat and the latter of which looked almost ravenous at the sight of food that wasn’t rotting flesh and whatever detritus she’d picked up from the water.

“Here,” Leliel nodded and let Charybdis feast upon her street food, procuring a bowl of lentil soup for Scylla to help calm her stomach. “Apologies, Scylla. I didn’t know you weren’t fond of meat.”

“It is… alright,” Scylla murmured, drinking deeply of her soup and sighing in satisfaction. “I have… had quite enough of eating flesh for now. Perhaps one day I may once again allow the taste of meat across my tongue… but not today.”

“As you wish,” Leliel nodded, before turning back to Charybdis, who was now licking her fingers and moaning in delight as she savored every last bit of the meats and fruits she had devoured. “And you, Charybdis. Are you well?”

“Mnn~” Charybdis purred, blinking slowly as she came to her senses once again. “Ah, it is… enjoyable to be able to dine on real foods again. Thank you very much, elder sister.”

"Expanding the family?" Leliel asked Gaghiel, getting a nod in return. "You know what, sure. Lots of that going around lately... About time our branch got up to that." She grinned. "Did you know the cousins have four new sisters already?" 

“Wh- really? Jeez, they’ve been busy,” Gaghiel almost pouted, just a hint of a whine entering her voice as she expressed her surprise. “But yeah, I want to help as many people as I can here, and I get the feeling that a lot of the people in this place that need the most help are the people who’ve been fucked over by the so-called  _ gods _ of this world.”

Leliel hummed. "Yes. I knew of the 'gods' as soon as we arrived. I just..." She twiddled her thumbs. "I wasn't sure how to tell you about them." 

“I see…” Gaghiel nodded, tilting her head as she watched Scylla and Charybdis mill about almost aimlessly, the two of them marveling at the sights they’d missed out on for so long- warm sand, grass, even butterflies. “I can sense a lot more people who need help even now- you can hear it too, right? The screaming?”

Leliel nodded slowly, sighing as she fidgeted in place, her shadow roiling with emotions. “We need to do something about these gods… they toy with the lives of those they consider their lessers without any remorse or hesitation.”

“Mhm,” Gaghiel agreed, smiling almost viciously as she rubbed her hands together. “So, little sister mine, how do you feel about raising an army of new brothers and sisters and performing a little bit of deicide?” 

Leliel smiled. "I'm almost always up for deicide. But, you realize that the situations are not always clear cut? Take Charybdis for example - she is the daughter of a god. Patricide can be a very difficult thing to do, after all..." 

"I remember," Gaghiel replied. "And... I don’t know. If her father was a god, why did the god never help her? Why did it take myself, a passing Angel, to free her from her torment?" 

"I never said I had an answer," Leliel countered morosely. "I simply had to caution you." 

“If it helps,” Charybdis murmured, raising her hand awkwardly as she interrupted the conversation. “Both Scylla and I may be daughters of gods, but those gods are no longer the rulers of this land. They and we are but Titans, and the rulers of the land the Olympians.”

“Our progenitors attempted to help us, indeed, but… none would dare stand against the rules of the Olympians. They are powerful, and they took over this land by force,” Scylla nodded, rubbing her arm and gritting her teeth as scales sprouted around her neck and shoulders from her roiling emotions. “To end the rule of the Olympians is no small task, but so as our Titan fathers fell, so too can they.”

Gaghiel smiled grimly. "Well then. The bigger they are, the harder they fall, you know? And we have  _ experience  _ in making Gods fall, don't we, little sister?" 

Leliel looked at her big sister. She also looked at her new little sisters. She considered pointing out that it was basically just Ramiel who ended the War, but decided against it. "Sure," she echoed flatly. " _ Experience _ ." 

Gaghiel grinned and drew her sisters in for a group hug, whooping loudly as she spread her enthusiasm around. “Woohoo! Godslaying adventure party!”


	3. The Sisters Three

“... So… um… what  _ is _ our plan?” Gaghiel asked slowly as the four of them huddled around a fire and snacked on some stolen street food that Leliel had packed into her shadow. “Do we sneak around all quiet like or do we go “Rawr! Kill!” until the Gods all fall down and surrender?”

Leliel hummed. "Are the gods likely to do that, is the question. I  _ somehow  _ doubt it'll be that easy. We should help more people." 

Gaghiel thought for a moment. "...Scylla. Charybdis. What do you two think?" 

“The Gods are… neglectful,” Scylla started, thinking over her past interactions and pursing her lips. “They will not react to us so long as they think we are pitiful and powerless. Unfortunately, we may not have that luxury.”

“We did cause quite a stir,” Charybdis murmured, rocking back and forth as she stared into the flames. “Three creatures of our size swimming through the sea is usually cause for mortals to think the end of the world is at hand. I believe that stealth is the optimal choice here. Gather our forces quietly, and eventually we will strike.”

Gaghiel thought for a moment. "Leliel, you're the stealth expert here. What do you suggest?" 

" _ I'm _ the stealth expert!?" The Angel questioned incredulously. "Your form is that of an  _ ambush predator!  _ Use your  _ own  _ brain for once, Big Sis!" 

“I…. hmmmmm….” Gaghiel paused and tilted her head, blinking slowly as she mulled things over in her mind. “Well… I have kind of an idea… but I don’t know how well it’s going to work.”

“It’s worth saying anyway,” Leliel shrugged, tending the fire and leaning forward, the night time darkness making her seem fuller, as if her body was larger than it physically was.

“My idea… is to slowly wander around this entire nation- Hellas, you called it?” Gaghiel waited for Leliel to nod before continuing. “I’m gonna help as many people as I can at first- the whole wandering hero thing, you know? And I’m gonna save people from whatever cruelties the gods put on them… and we’re going to secretly hole up somewhere safe where the gods can’t peek on us… and when we have a big enough army…”

“We strike with serpentine strength and tear them asunder!” Scylla cut in, eyes shining with bloodlust as she worked herself up. “I agree with this plan!”

“I don’t know… it sounds a lot like you’re going to be all alone for a while if you’re just going to send people away the moment you heal them,” Charybdis murmured quietly, twiddling her thumbs as she spoke.

Gaghiel thought for another moment. "Damn it, she's right. Hey Leliel, who has the brain cell in our branch right now? I think I need it right now..." 

“That would be Sachiel,” Leliel answered calmly, procuring a goblet of wine and sipping it slowly. “She’s using it to help work through some girl’s family issues. As it is, though, the only issue with your plan is that it relies on you being  _ alone _ . I say we can do better. We’ll take a small adventuring party, no more than ten at a time. That should give us all the backup we need and the rest of our growing family can stay safe if they don’t wish to fight.”

Gaghiel grinned. "Then we shall  _ adventure!  _ Scylla, Charybdis, are you both in? Leliel - are you coming with, or are you going to be doing your own thing?" 

“I’ll provide a home base for us. Just ping me and I’ll provide any new siblings we come across a safe harbor that none else may enter,” Leliel shook her head, patting Gaghiel’s hair and smiling. “Be safe, elder sister.”

Scylla and Charybdis both nodded as Leliel spoke, standing and moving closer to Gaghiel in silent support. 

“We will journey as far as you wish,” Scylla murmured, gently pressing against Gaghiel.

“And strike down all who would try and stop our righteous quest,” Charybdis finished, pressing against Gaghiel’s other side with a soft smile.

Gaghiel grinned. "Then let us swim, my sisters! Let us swim, and find those who cry out in the night, and free them from their torments!" 

She dove into the water, shifting into her larger form, and Scylla and Charybdis followed suit. 

<>

Finding those who were tormented was easy in an ocean so full of life and magic. Gaghiel could sense the cries of hundreds of thousands of beings who’d been tormented once by the Olympians- naiads turned into simple fish or clams, water spirits displaced from their homes, wind spirits cast aside from their duties. Some of them were beyond saving- Gaghiel could do nothing for some, and others were cruel and heartless even in their suffering.

But there were three that she could sense, sisters who hated the gods and men alike, for they had been raped and defiled within a sacred temple, and yet had been the ones punished for the simple transgression of being women assaulted by men.

Charybdis had called them the Gorgons, and they lived on a small island all the way off the western coast of the main peninsula that made up the northern border of this massive and nearly endless sea. 

Gaghiel swam. Sometimes with the dolphins, other times with schools of fish, but with the first two women she'd saved continuously at her side. And together, they swam for the Gorgons' lair. 

Gaghiel didn't know their names yet. She didn't know their stories apart from what Charybdis had told her. 

Yet even then, it wasn't pretty. 

Even as she neared her destination, Gaghiel seethed inside. The god who had defiled the Gorgons was none other than Charybdis' father, and he'd even  _ bragged  _ of it! And yet despite the guilty party being the god, it was the  _ women  _ who'd been punished? She couldn't  _ wait  _ to tear down this  _ vile  _ pantheon! 

But no, she had to wait. She had to, for she knew what a war of the gods could bring, and she realized all too well what something like that would bring to an unprepared world. 

No, she had to wait. 

And save everyone she could, in the meanwhile. 

At the base of the island, Gaghiel bade her two sisters to stop and rest- they were young yet to the ways of their AT Fields, and she could see that they required rest before they could move on. Furthermore, they were inexperienced with forming a passive shield, such that they had every chance of being unable to block a direct strike if they didn’t react fast enough to put up an active shield.

“Wait here,” she commanded, putting on her serious face as she felt around the malice that the three Gorgons projected, Scylla and Charybdis sinking lower into the waves as Gaghiel pulled herself from the ocean and trudged up the rocky path towards the single cave mouth on the desolate spit of rock the Gorgons called their home and their prison.

"Hello?" she called out, AT-field nonetheless at the ready. "I come in peace. Are you there?" 

Of course they were. She had after all followed the suffering resonating from their souls - but it was polite to ask. 

Three sets of hissing voices rang out in response to her call, piercing eyes cutting through the pitch dark gloom of the cave- three main sets (one of which made Gaghiel’s AT Field itch even as she blocked the strange effect from killing her) and what seemed like hundreds of smaller sets, all reptilian and slit pupiled as the bearers drew near.

_ “Who draws near?” _ one asked, her voice shrieking like nails across Gaghiel’s soul, an attempt to literally kill with voice alone. Gaghiel withstood the pressure- after all, although these sisters had killed what must have been hundreds of prospective heroes, they had never faced an Angel before.

“I am Gaghiel! Angel of the fish and roaring beast of God! I have come to free you from your curse!” she announced, hands in the air, devoid of all weaponry as she strode towards the mouth of the cave. “Please, Gorgon sisters, I beg for but a moment of your time. Tell me your stories, let me lend an ear to your grievances, that I might help free you from your burdens.”

_ “It lives!” _ came a surprised hiss. 

_ “Which god has sent you?” _ came an angry one.

_ “Why tempt us with false hope?” _ came a morose whisper.

“I am sent by none but myself!” Gaghiel responded, using her AT Field to cast light upon the cave and reveal the sisters in their full glory- clawed hands, snakelike tails, brassy scales, snakelike hair alike, the three of them almost identical save for their differences in soul pattern. “And I swear upon my name, my soul, and my life that I will never,  _ ever _ tempt you with false hope! My offer is true and real, and I only seek to help you!”

One of the Gorgons slithered forward, crossing her arms.  _ "Then tell us who your God is,"  _ she hissed warningly.  _ "Tell us which of those petty bastards would claim you as their beast. Show us the proof that you are capable of what you claim to be."  _

Another came forth.  _ "Fulfill those requests,"  _ she demanded,  _ "and we shall let you leave in peace."  _

_ "Fail to do so,"  _ added the third sister,  _ "and we shall Curse you with all our might."  _

“None of the gods of this world could dare hope to claim me,” Gaghiel answered calmly, stepping into the cave and holding up a Core in her hand, her own pulsing with light as she  _ pressed _ the weight of her authority into the world. The sky turned purple, the cave  _ trembled. _

The waves frothed behind her and churned into a howling frenzy as the sheer weight of her soul upon the world all but tore the cave asunder, turning the bonestrewn hole in the ground into naught but dust in the wind as her AT Field blew out the roof.

“I am the Angel of a God you know not. I am a sister to all those who have been wronged. I am a righter of wrongs, not some petty being at the beck and call of those pathetic worms you call deities!” Gaghiel announced, her voice echoing with the roars of her true form, body shining with glittering orange light as the core in her hand became three, all spinning in her palms before hovering out in front of the sisters. “I make my promise to you, Medusa, Stheno, Euryale. I will free you from your curse. I will free you from this island. All I ask in return… is your sisterhood.”

Stheno, the eldest, narrowed her eyes to slits.  _ "And what would this sisterhood entail? Servitude? Defilement? False promises? Because if so, we refuse."  _

“Mostly hugs actually,” Gaghiel corrected, motioning down to where Scylla and Charybdis could clearly be seen now that she’d remodeled the island with her AT Field. “Scylla and Charybdis can confirm. I will never,  _ ever _ force you three to do something you don’t want to do. This I swear on my life.”

Medusa, the youngest, peered downwards, and her eyes widened.  _ "These... They are Scylla and Charybdis? The monsters of the Strait of Messina? They look..."  _

_ "They look human,"  _ Euryale whispered.  _ "I... Stheno, please. Go speak to them. I cannot, and they cannot look Medusa in the eye... Stheno, could you go? Could you confirm their story?"  _

_ "I can,"  _ Stheno declared.  _ "And I shall. Guard her, my sisters, until I return." _

Gaghiel watched calmly as Stheno slithered down the craggy path, still holding the cores in her hand as she sat down on what used to be the cave floor before it stopped being a cave. “I will not lie. There may be times when you might hate me. There might be times that we fight. But when I say that you will be my sisters, I mean it. You will be equals. Siblings, not servants. I will love you as I do all of my sisters and brothers.”

_ "Why?"  _ Medusa whispered.  _ "Why us? Why, out of anyone, us?"  _

“Because you’ve suffered unjustly. And you happened to be the first ones I could truly distinguish from the anguish poisoning this land,” Gaghiel answered, smiling a bit sadly as she gently held Medusa’s hands and looked her in the eyes. “Please, let me help you. And in return… we can  _ destroy _ those bastard gods who dare to run roughshod over this world as if the consequences don’t apply to them.”

_ "How does this work?"  _ Euryale hissed curiously.  _ "This... process. What would it entail?"  _

“Press the core to your body, and it will free your soul and your body from the curse,” Gaghiel motioned with her hand, letting the shimmering ruby cores float out of her palm and toward the three sisters. “Let yourselves become one with the core, as it becomes one with you.”

_ "She speaks the truth,"  _ came the sibilant hiss of Stheno as she swayed closer.  _ "I will go first,"  _ she declared.  _ "In case it works... differently."  _

The eldest sister grabbed a Core hanging in the air, eyeing it.  _ "It feels... warm,"  _ she whispered. 

Stheno, the eldest Gorgon, pressed the shimmering ruby between her breasts and waited. 

Immediately, a bright light shone through the entire island and engulfed Stheno’s body, making her cry out in shock as her form rippled and twisted into that of a massive serpent- a great and terrible beast as tall as a mountain, shimmering scales and brilliant gold flesh, its head covered in a beaked mask and a massive shining core embedded in the back of its throat.

Lightning flashed, the wind howled. Thunder rumbled through the sky as the waves churned with the sudden burst of sheer power and-

Stheno collapsed back down, panting, gasping, but ultimately  _ human _ again- or at least, human enough that she was no longer the mockingly humanoid version of herself she had been. Gaghiel idly noted that she looked a lot like Raziel, though a bit more tanned and with hair the color of darkened bronze.

"What- what  _ was  _ that!?" Stheno gasped, before pausing and massaging her throat in wonder. "I... I'm no longer hissing... This power... What was that? Why did I transform into an even bigger monster...? Why do I feel like I can still do it..." 

She covered her mouth, and her eyes widened. "My skin... It feels human... Medusa! What do I look like?" 

_ "You seem... Human,"  _ Medusa whispered in wonder.  _ "You  _ **_sound_ ** _ human. You LOOK human! But you look different... You look like it is she and you that could be siblings instead of you and I, Sister... We accept."  _

_ "We do..."  _ Euryale whispered. She outstretched her hand.  _ "Please..."  _

“Welcome to the family, all of you,” Gaghiel smiled, passing out the remaining two cores and weathering the resultant storm, her grin increasing to sharklike proportions from her sheer joy as she watched the newly freed sisters dance and laugh together, singing and smiling and baring their excitement to the world.

"To be freed, like this..." Charybdis murmured, walking up next to Gaghiel and leaning her head on the Angel's shoulder, "It's a wonderful feeling." 

The two watched as Scylla sashayed up to the sisters, pulling them into an even crazier whirlwind of a dance. "She 'clicks' with them far better than with myself," Charybdis finally said. "We have a companionship thanks to the centuries we spent across from each other, in shared suffering... Yet despite that, she is far more bloodthirsty than I. As, it would seem, are they." 

“I think we’ll need a bit of that,” Gaghiel murmured back, gently hugging Charybdis against her side as she watched her four new siblings play and dance through the surf, their combined AT Fields having turned the wretched island into a protruding bump of a beach from their sheer excitement. “... Should we tell our new sisters that they’re naked or should we let them figure it out for themselves?”

“... I think they know, elder sister. I just think they do not care,” Charybdis shrugged, clearly enjoying the view. The bouncing, glittering, pillowy view. 

Gaghiel coughed lightly into her hand and tried not to stare too hard. “Why do us Angels have to be so horny all the time...”

“We should head to the Isle of Lesbos afterwards,” Charybdis mentioned, smiling lightly. “If they are still like they were in my time, we should be in for a fun time, I believe...”

“.... An entire island full of lesbians,” Gaghiel murmured, blinking slowly as her jaw dropped from the things she could only just imagine. “... That sounds like paradise.”

“...yes,” Charybdis deadpanned, “the inhabitants of Lesbos are called Lesbians. Of course the island is full of them. Or is this an expression from your plane...?”

“Ah, right, lesbians is a term from my plane based, funnily enough, on a location known as the Isle of Lesbos as well,” Gaghiel explained, clearing her throat awkwardly. “It’s used to describe women who are sexually attracted to other women.”

Charybdis nodded sagely. “Yes, this is what the Isle of Lesbos is about, indeed.”

“I’ll say again, then. It sounds like  _ paradise _ ,” Gaghiel sighed, almost losing herself to her fantasies before she was summarily tackled by the three Gorgon sisters, all three of them laughing beautifully as they hugged her tight against their combined bosoms. “Ah- this works too.”

"You are a pervert and a lech," Medusa accused, but with far less heat than before. "...But you kept your word, and for that, you have our gratitude." 

"You have surpassed any and all of our hopes," Euryale added, voice bubbling with happiness. "I can no longer feel the Curse. My soul is free from its torment! I can actually  _ tell  _ now!" 

"I hate to be the one to bring my bloodlust into this joyous occasion," Stheno added, "but when shall we storm Olympus and flay the wretch Athena for cursing us so? When will we geld the foul Poseidon for defiling my sister so? When shall we have true justice, O Gaghiel?" 

“Well, hopefully, within a matter of weeks to months, perhaps a few years if we are truly, staggeringly unlucky,” Gaghiel answered, mostly reveling in the feeling of three pairs of surprisingly large breasts pressing against her instead of trying to keep her thoughts from wandering. “We need to build up at  _ least _ a small army first- by the way, do you happen to know of any other beings cursed by those asshole gods that we can free from their eternal torment?”

Stheno hummed. "Well, there is Queen Lamia, who lives not far from here. A poor soul who had the misfortune of being seduced by Zeus. A tragic figure." 

"...Do I want to know why being seduced by Zeus is a misfortune?" Gaghiel inquired, bracing herself. 

"'Tis Hera," Euryale explained, "his wife. Instead of punishing her husband for his transgressions... She targets whomever caught his eye instead." 

"Despicable woman," Medusa added. 

“... What a horrid sounding  _ bitch _ ,” Gaghiel muttered, furrowing her brow in consternation as she pondered the merits of just stomping up to wherever the gods dwelled and blasting them until they all died. 

No, bad idea. She wasn’t Ramiel, and she definitely didn’t have enough firepower or the right elemental resistances to handle lightning being thrown around at the deific level.

“Indeed she is,” Scylla snorted from the side, crossing her arms and glaring up at the sky. “‘Tis but a shame that she rules over all marriages and all things motherly in this world.”

Gaghiel  _ choked. _ “Marriages! Motherhood? Seriously!? That’s like- like...” She shuddered. “Putting  _ Yui Ikari  _ in charge of  _ chastity! _ Like asking  _ cousin Ramiel _ to do  _ restraint! _ It’s madness!”

“... Yes, something like that,” Stheno nodded after the three Gorgons took a moment to review the new information their souls now held. “Though it is more apt to say that it is nepotism, given that she is entirely ill suited to the role in the first place due to usurping the throne instead of being born into it. The only reason she holds the domain is due to her marriage to Zeus.”

Gaghiel paused, reviewing her entire family situation. "Nepotism isn't  _ always  _ bad... But yeah, the woman sounds entirely unsuited to her position.... Hm." She looked at the locals. "...Are any of them? Suited, that is. Actually, are any of the gods themselves suffering from their kin? They would make good allies…”

“Artemis,” Charybdis shrugged, bobbing her head to the side as she considered the goddess of the Hunt and the Moon. “She does nothing save curse those who break the very few rules she sets upon the world- no hunting her divine creatures, no creeping around and watching her Hunters bathe, etc etc. More often than not, her punishments are gentle and surprisingly fair. She also… quite welcomes those of the sapphic persuasion.”

“Hades is another, despite being one of the three Kings of Olympus,” Euryale continued, her bronzed hair twisting into serpents as she described the King of the Underworld. “He is a fair, impartial judge. He punishes only those that deserve it and possesses the most moderate and gentle temperament I have ever heard of in a god. Such is his lack of temper that there is word amongst Demeter’s nymphs that his wife, Persephone, penetrates him like  _ she _ is the man in the relationship!”

Gaghiel snorted. “Just because a man gets pegged doesn’t mean they don’t have a temper,” she snickered, “Just look at Gendo Rokubungi.” She rubbed her chin. “But a man pegged does drink a healthy amount of Respect Woman Juice, so it evens out,” the Angel of Fish added.

“.... I hate that I know what that phrase means now,” Medusa deadpanned at Gaghiel, sighing as she rubbed her forehead and backed away. “Why did you have to curse us with knowledge of  _ memes _ , dear sister?”

“I think it’s rather fun,” Stheno muttered under her breath, snickering at Medusa’s dramatics. “Enjoy the humor of the alternate planes, little sister. There is quite a lack of such frivolity here.”

"Memes," Gaghiel intoned with utter solemnity, "are a balm for the Soul." 

“Memes are the most ridiculous thing I’ve ever heard of and it hurts me to realize how many gods would love the concept,” Medusa groaned, sticking out her tongue and huffing. “Shall we go now? I doubt that any of us want to continue standing around on a barren spit of land for any longer than we must.”

"Of course," Gaghiel smiled. "Do you like to swim?" 

“We’re half decent at it, I think,” Euryale answered instead of Medusa, then looked around and sighed. “... Dearest elder sister, would you do us the favor of carrying us on your back instead? We three may live on this island, but we’re serpents, not fish. I fear we may not be able to keep up if we tried swimming.”

Gaghiel grinned. "Oh, I wouldn't mind at all! Just climb on my back and-" 

"I have an idea," Scylla said. "Why don't we make this into a race?" 


	4. Home Away From Home

“I win!” Charybdis cheered, jumping up and down on the beach as Gaghiel slowed to a halt, shrinking down and letting the three Gorgons finally uncoil from around her giant sharky body and paddle to land.

“I let you win,” Scylla sighed, rolling her eyes as she hauled herself from the water and shrank down as well. “And Gaghiel didn’t even compete.”

“I would have won, but I was on piggyback duty,” Gaghiel pointed out, motioning at the Gorgons who were at the moment quite busy with assaulting the nearby stunned fishermen and stealing their clothes so they wouldn’t be naked. “Don’t kill the humans! I’m pretty sure half of them have grievances with the gods too!”

“For whatever reason,” Charybdis snarked, “The humans look like they don’t mind.”

“Well, it’s not every day you get to see a set of naked triplets carried aloft and heralded by a trio of massive divine creatures, and said triplets are also divine creatures themselves,” Scylla pointed out, choosing to at least sweeten the deal for the now nude and quite unconcerned fishermen (or were they catatonic from shock) by pulling down the neck of her own robes and baring her breasts as well.

"And that," Gaghiel pointed out, "might as well qualify for overkill, dear Scylla." 

“Are you complaining?” Scylla asked, turning and giving Gaghiel an eyeful as she shook her chest back and forth for emphasis. “Were you not the one that described being surrounded by the bosoms of our new siblings as paradise?”

"As I said," Gaghiel replied, tracking the motion perfectly, "Overkill." 

“I think it’s perfectly fine, honestly,” Charybdis giggled, humming under her breath as she watched the Gorgon sisters get dressed. “It’s not like showing your titties is that much of a big deal.”

"...Of course not," Gaghiel murmured. "I'd forgotten this wasn't Halkeginia." 

She clapped her hands. "So! Who are we visiting, again?" 

“Queen Lamia,” Medusa answered, finally walking back over and wearing a robe that was one part freshly cleaned from where she’d stolen it off of some guy and had quickly re-tailored it into a more flattering appearance. “She’s southward, in the land of Libya- though, there is no real need to hurry, I think. Last I heard she is still in a cave somewhere.”

“... Funny how there’s always a cave somewhere nearby for people who get cursed to live in,” Gaghiel muttered, scratching her chin and spreading out her AT Field once more into a sonar ping, wincing at the sheer amount of cursed plants, creatures, and assorted beings she could feel in her range.

"...Do the gods just spend their entire days endlessly cursing people?" she muttered incredulously. 

“Sometimes, yes,” Stheno nodded, idly rubbing Gaghiel’s shoulders and humming softly. “It always seems to get worse in the summer, probably due to the amount of festivals and such around that time. But on a day to day basis, thankfully, the gods seem to not curse people  _ that _ much… I’m sure much of what you’re sensing is just the product of centuries of their abuse and lack of discretion.” 

"We  _ really  _ should do something about them," Gaghiel muttered as she set forth wandering towards the nearest caves. "But we're just not  _ strong  _ enough yet..." 

“We will be in time, dearest sister,” Leliel spoke up from behind Gaghiel, ignoring the shrieks from the other five Angels as she led her elder sister to a cave. “I’ve prepared our new home already, by the way. I’ve made it such that as long as you wish it, you or any of our new siblings may enter from any cave opening in the world.”

"...Dear sister," Gaghiel began, "has anyone ever told you that your area of operation is completely broken and kind of bullshit while we're at it?" 

“I am the angel best suited towards spacetime fuckery, yes,” Leliel nodded calmly, smiling smugly as their collective group entered the cave- and immediately emerged into a lush and verdant forest teeming with life. Halfway across the planet. “Welcome to our new home, sisters. It’s only on the other side of the planet from those terrible gods, but it’s far out of their jurisdiction. For now.”

As the Gorgons exclaimed in wonder and Scylla and Charybdis looked around in fascination, Gaghiel sidled next to Leliel. "That skyline looks familiar," she spoke dryly. "This is what's once going to be Tokyo-3, isn't it?" 

“Mhmm,” Leliel nodded, proudly shifting the area around a bit to expose the rather luxurious furniture and home decor now dotting the area. “It’s more that I pulled that area into a sort of pseudo pocket dimension but yes. If this were our earth, it would one day become Tokyo-3. But right now, it’s just… hm. I haven’t come up with a name for it, but we’ll call it… home. I suppose.”

“I can’t tell if it’s unimaginative,” Gaghiel mused, “or just plain sappy.”

“A little of one, little of the other,” Leliel shrugged, sitting down on a couch and kicking her feet up. “Come, big sister, take a seat. Relax a little, hm? You’ve certainly had a busy few days, haven’t you?”

Gaghiel blinked. "It's only been a few days?" She threw herself onto a couch and  _ stretched.  _ "How time flies." 

“Indeed it does,” Leliel murmured, cuddling up against Gaghiel and sighing tiredly. “Making this place took more power than I thought it would… I’m okay, but I would still appreciate a nap more than anything else right now…”

"I think," Gaghiel murmured back, "we have time for that." 

The sisters closed their eyes, and slept. 

<>

“Aww… that’s cute…” Scylla murmured quietly as she watched Gaghiel and Leliel sleep, smiling gently as she covered them both with a blanket. “Our dear elder sisters have done much for us, even though we’ve known them for a mere few days at best.”

"There is a disconnect of the mind hidden away in that sentence," Charybdis mused. "What kind of a world does one come from that you become one's sister by accepting a curious red orb into your body?" 

"...Are you  _ ungrateful,  _ Sister?" Scylla asked in disbelief. "After all they've done?" 

"Not in a thousand years," Charybdis disagreed. "I was simply thinking loudly. What does our world  _ lack  _ as opposed to theirs, that our bonds of family could never match the closeness of us Angels? How does it all work?" 

“I suppose that, whatever process it was that created our sisters, they are more… open. More accepting of others that join them, even if they are not related by blood, or anything except having the same red orb and word of mouth,” Scylla responded, shaking her head as she sat down and crossed her legs, not at all sure as to what or how Gaghiel was thinking when she’d rescued the pair of them from their curses. “Perhaps it is the society we come from that is so different, or perhaps it is a difference of the soul. I know not what, though I am not sure our sisters would know either.”

"...I wonder," Charybdis murmured. "I wonder if there is someone we can  _ ask.  _ I wonder if there is something we can do for them, as well. They have been so good for us... Good for us simply because they consider it the right thing to do. It's fantastic and it's wonderful... Could we return the favor?"

“Perhaps, though I know not how we would repay either of them. If they merely desire our companionship, we simply need do naught but be as sisters to them,” Scylla shrugged, still thinking with her hand on her chin before turning to the Gorgons. “What do you three think?”

“I think… if Sister Gaghiel and Sister Leliel desire anything of us, we are indebted to do as they wish,” Medusa started slowly, her hair swaying on its own as it twisted itself into snakes once again. “Such is the extent of their generosity, that they have given us a gift we may never be able to repay.”

"I... don't think they want us to," Charybdis finally said, a very odd look on her face. "It... It sounds fake. I keep expecting them to turn around and demand us to be their slaves or endless armies or  _ something,  _ but... They don't want that. Why?" 

“Perhaps they are simply good people at heart,” Stheno deadpanned, rolling her eyes as she sat down across from Scylla and tapped her fingers together. “Everything I could sense from their souls has been nothing short of blindingly childish and honest- Neither of them so much as considered the idea of enslaving others, and the worst impulse that Gaghiel has is just a penchant for killing dictators and evil beings with overwhelming violence.”

“It  _ has _ been a very long time since any of us has met some genuinely good people,” Scylla mused. “Trust does not... come very easily. Even in cases such as this...”

“Well, they have given us no reason to distrust them so far,” Euryale murmured, joining her siblings on the couch across from Scylla and Charybdis. “Perhaps we may yet be able to trust them- as if we were born siblings, not adopted.”

“You three have experience in having siblings,” Charybdis pointed out. “‘Tis less strange for you. Us, though...”

“If we had- or  _ have _ siblings… ‘tis been long enough that I cannot remember my own, nor Charybdis hers,” Scylla finished, sighing quietly and shaking her head with a slight frown. “Though, to have so many so suddenly is… nice. To have a bounty of company after so long alone... it is… heartening, to say the least.”

“A most favorable outcome,” Charybdis agreed. “And yet it raises another question - what now?”

“Group hug?” Medusa suggested, already surrounded by Stheno and Euryale who had since assumed the lower bodies of serpents and coiled themselves around their youngest sister. “Hugs do always seem to do better for one’s mood.”

Charybdis smiled. "Group hug it is," she agreed. "Scylla, why don't you join us?" 

“As you wish,” Scylla nodded, smiling as she settled herself in Medusa’s lap and sighing as Charybdis piled on top. “This is nice…”

“Very much so,” Charybdis murmured. “Very much so...”


	5. An Amiable Visitor

“Scylla?”

“Yes Charybdis?”

“When do you think Gaghiel will be back?” Charybdis asked, kicking her feet idly as she lounged in the small swimming pool that Leliel had installed near the rear of their new home base. She leaned against the edge of the pool, staring up at Scylla, who was lounging in a hammock a few feet away.

“She said she was going to get groceries that weren’t stolen from the local human populace with Leliel, so I think she’ll be back sooner rather than later,” Scylla responded, swaying slightly in her hammock and letting the cool breeze wash over her, carrying with it the sound of Medusa and Stheno playing volleyball, along with the sound of Euryale trying (and mostly failing) at playing piano.

“I’m booooored,” Charybdis finally announced, groaning and letting her head thunk back against the edge of the pool. “Who knew having the freedom to do things other than wallow in agony and swallow half the sea meant also having the freedom to be booooooooooored?”

“What a novel concept,” Scylla observed. “Boredom, that is. To feel that your life is an unbearable dullness as opposed to constant torment.”

“Yes, that’s what I said,” Charybdis snarked. “You don’t have to repeat it right back at me in a slightly different wording.”

“Do I not?” Scylla asked mildly. “It takes so little yet provides amusement.” She smirked. “ _ I’m _ no longer bored.”

“I hate you so much,” Charybdis hissed, flipping off Scylla and sinking into the pool indignantly, leaving only a trail of bubbles behind her as she crossed her arms and sulked beneath the water. 

"No you don't," Scylla grinned, idly growing another head just to see if she  _ could.  _ The result simply looked  _ weird,  _ so she tabled that. 

Charybdis didn’t bother giving Scylla a verbal response to that, and instead chose the childish route of creating a whirlpool solely so she could splash Scylla in the face.

Scylla grew a tail and splashed back. 

Things… quickly devolved from there.

“Hey! Knock it off!” Medusa shrieked as the two aquatic Angels immediately began splashing each other in earnest, screeching and laughing as they threw waves at each other and waded through the pool with ever more frantic movements. Such were the forces involved that Medusa and Stheno found their sandy volleyball pit drenched with water even though they were several meters away.

“Surrender!” Charybdis taunted, tackling Scylla and dragging her into the water, kicking her feet as she tickled her sibling and watched her squirm with a manic smile on her face. 

“ _ Never! _ ” Scylla shreeched in glee, growing extra heads and licking Charybdis on the nose and other silly places. “Victory shall be MINE!”

“Ah! No! Stop licking me you cheater!” Charybdis squealed, continuing her relentless assault on Scylla even as she squirmed and cackled from Scylla licking her. “AAAA IT’S SO GROOOOSS! Euryale! Help meeeee!!!”

“You brought this on yourself, elder sister,” Euryale called out calmly, continuing to bang out discordant notes on the piano without a care for Charybdis’ plight. “Now face it like a true Angel and either win or let Scylla win bragging rights for all of eternity.”

“Stahp or I’ll vore you!” Charybdis yelled in desperation.

Amazingly, against all odds, Scylla actually stopped. And let go of Charybdis. And took a big step back.

“Okay one:  _ Ew _ . Two:  **_EW_ ** . Three:  **_EWWWW_ ** . Four: Where did you learn that word and how much do I have to pay you to  _ never _ say it again?” Scylla groaned, sticking her tongue out in (mostly) mocking disgust even as Charybdis grinned smugly and put her hands on her hips, puffing her chest out in victory.

“All is fair in love and war,” Charybdis countered victoriously. “Also, we  _ both _ got the load of memes, did we not? Same as the Gorgons over there.”

“I was trying to forget about that entire section of data,” Scylla sighed, rubbing her temples and groaning even louder as the new memories rushed to the forefront of her mind. “I hate this. I hate everything about this. I hate  _ literally _ everything about this.”

“Speaking of data,” Charybdis noted, “I see you are making use of the Running Gag datapack.”

“... I seriously hate how that’s a phrase that’s become embedded into our entire species’ collective memory by now,” Scylla grumbled, crossing her arms and pouting as she dried herself off and threw herself down onto a towel, deciding to lounge in the sun instead of going back to her hammock. “I seriously, actually hate it.”

“Would you say that you hate  _ literally _ everything about it?” Charybdis teased slyly.

“I can, and will, punt you halfway across this entire forest,” Scylla glared, sulking and flipping Charybdis off without moving from her spot. “So don’t get  _ smart  _ with me, elder sister.”

“...true,” Charybdis agreed. “But if I can’t get smart with you, then sure as Hades I’m getting  _ stupid! _ ”

Scylla’s eyes widened. “Wait wha-”

“Sumo attack!” Charybdis immediately screamed, and before Scylla could roll out of the way or even react, Charybdis leapt out of the water and landed on top of Scylla, pinning the other girl down with her body weight (which, honestly, wasn’t actually very effective) and soaking her to the bone again. “And now you’re trapped! Ha!”

As Scylla and Charybdis began their sissy fight in earnest, Leliel (and Gaghiel) walked out of the nearest shadow. “We’re back!” the latter declared with enthusiasm. “Money is weird.”

“Big sis!” Charybdis immediately cheered, right before Scylla decisively and thoroughly won the fight by sitting right on Charybdis’ face and muffling the Angel’s words with her butt.

“Welcome back,” Scylla finished calmly, holding Charybdis down and pretending like Charybdis wasn’t still talking despite having Scylla’s ass in her face. “How was your trip?

“Eventful,” Leliel snickered. “I’m pretty sure Gaghiel now owns Sparta.”

“How do you leave for groceries for three hours and then end up  _ owning _ one of the largest and most warlike city states in all of Hellas?” Euryale asked, turning around and finally ceasing her (actually quite improved) attempts at playing freeform jazz on the piano as she questioned Gaghiel and Leliel.

“Money,” Gaghiel repeated, “is  _ weird. _ ”

“She beat up a high level commander for trying to arrest her because she forgot money exists, and then proceeded to fight off every other soldier in the process to the point that she accidentally overthrew Sparta singlehandedly and is now being hailed as a new goddess of war,” Leliel explained, then held up a cloth bag full of food. “I went shopping after cutting a few purses from the knocked out soldiers, though, so we still did end up getting food.”

Medusa had a funny look on her face. "Oh dear," she whispered. "Athena is not going to be happy about that..." 

“We’re overthrowing the gods and Athena was an absolute bitch to that one lady  _ and _ us,” Stheno rolled her eyes, bouncing her volleyball off of Medusa’s face to get her to focus. “So I say, piss her off all we can. It’s not like she ever did anything to us except turn us into vicious horrible monsters and lock us on an island for a few hundred years!”

"That's exactly the  _ point,"  _ Medusa hissed. "We weren't supposed to attract the attention of the gods before we were  ready  to face them! And I'm not actually sure that we  _ are!"  _

“That is true, but I’d like you all to consider,” Leliel spoke up, setting her groceries aside and putting them in the refrigerator with a snap of her fingers. “All of us now, simultaneously, are more than capable of destroying entire mountains with relative ease. The Olympian gods, such as they are, aren’t exactly entirely on our level, such that if we ask for help from  _ our _ branch’s Ramiel, we’ll almost certainly be able to handle them without too much trouble. We aren’t ready if we only consider the seven of us. None of us are built for direct combat planetary scale combat. We’re more than ready if we consider the fact that our family can and will help us if we seriously need help.”

"True," a voice spoke from behind them, "but do keep in mind that sometimes, someone will simply find you." 

The Angels all whirled towards the voice, Gorgons transforming into their full forms, Scylla growing a tail to balance herself, Charybdis putting up her dukes, the elder Angels simply watching curiously. 

The stranger who'd spoken was tall, pale, and had long dark hair. He wore a simple black tunic, and his cool black eyes observed the group in fascination. 

"Interesting," he said. "Five of you I recognise, albeit in forms I never expected to see... But you two," he nodded towards the original Angels, " _ you _ are foreign. I'd very much like to get to know you." 

"Isn't it good manners to introduce yourself first?" Leliel snarked. 

The man started. "Of course! A thousand apologies - I am not used to... Never mind that." 

He sketched a bow. "My name is Hades." 

“.... Oh. Fuck,” Leliel muttered, immediately regretting her previous bravado. “Of course the one god that could find us on this fucking planet is the god of the dark.”

“Of course, little shadow,” Hades nodded, smirking a bit smugly at Leliel’s words. “I am the Lord of shadows on this earth, how could I not notice one so bursting with life flitting about with whispers of rebellion on her lips?”

“.... I’m gonna assume that you’re not here to kill us if you haven’t started yet so uh…. Hi! Welcome to our house!” Gaghiel motioned vaguely, pretending like she wasn’t immediately terrified that the seven of them might meet a grisly and thoroughly embarrassing death if they said the wrong thing.

"It is a lovely house," Hades agreed, flickers of smiles flitting around his lips. "Yet, what curious contraptions you have here... Hephaistos would be intrigued." 

He tilted his head. "May I take a seat?" 

“Yeah, sure, go ahead,” Gaghiel nodded, still standing rather stiffly in place before she suddenly remembered that she had legs and was also trying to pretend to not be scared. “Do you want anything to drink? We don’t have much but we just bought a lot of wine and we have water too.”

"It is gracious of you to offer," the god declined, "but I do not drink when I must walk shadows afterwards. No, I am simply here to talk." 

“Well, alright. Talk away. Why exactly is a member of the Olympians here to talk instead of trying to kill us for our treason?” Gaghiel asked, leaning against the counter as she watched Hades carefully, while Leliel simply moved such that all seven of them were huddled together for safety in case Hades  _ did _ do something stupid.

"Treason?" the god inquired mildly. "I see no treason. Being irritated with the way Zeus rules over the pantheon is no treason, it is simply how it is. But you... You honestly believe that you can change that?" 

Hades leaned forwards, something sparkling in the depths of his eyes. "Do you think that I could help?" 

“Is this a case of sibling rivalry I detect~” Medusa suddenly spoke up, peering up over Gaghiel’s shoulders with clear interest in her expression. “Is the lord of the underworld truly so dissatisfied with his youngest brother’s rule that he’d help overthrow the horny bastard?”

She received the flattest of all flat looks in response. “You have  _ seen _ what he gets up to, right?” the god questioned acidly. “The man  _ literally _ thinks with his lower head.  _ All _ the time. Of course I would bloody well help overthrow the horny bastard! The problem is, Thanatos is firmly on  _ his _ side and would stymie me at every turn if I tried to take them all head on.”

“I didn’t think Zeus did much thinking at all, actually,” Euryale admitted, slinking around and settling on Gaghiel’s other shoulder with a smug smirk on her face. “Perhaps a more levelheaded god would be better to put in charge. Someone with an actual brain, and the ability to actually do their damned job.”

“...you don’t have to butter me up, you know,” Hades mentioned, frowning. “I’m practically the only one who  _ does _ any work around here anyway...”

“And we all appreciate you for it, oh lord of the underworld~” Stheno added on cheekily, winking at Hades and wiggling her fingers. “After all, things would be a lot stranger if the spirits of the dead roamed free, would they not?”

The god of the dead tilted his head. “...are you flirting with me? Because I’m married.”

“Perhaps I am, perhaps I am not,” Stheno stated coyly, sniggering a little at the expression on Hades’ face. “I jest. I wouldn’t dare snub the only competent pair of gods in the pantheon in such a way.”

“Well, small mercies,” Hades murmured. He tapped his chin with his finger. “I do think my wife would like to meet you all, regardless...”

“I’m sure we’d all like to meet her as well,” Leliel murmured, silently slipping behind Gaghiel and pulling an entire bottle of vodka from the fridge. “Should we arrange for a dinner party at some point?”

“Oh, that sounds grand,” Hades agreed amiably. “Shall I bring refreshments? Wine? Something like that?”

“Whatever suits you, I think,” Leliel answered, taking a swig of vodka straight from the bottle so she could pretend that she wasn’t still a bit terrified of someone who could actually  _ track _ her movements. “Come by whenever you wish, I suppose. We will all be here for quite some time- though perhaps after a few days would be best, Gaghiel must still meet with Queen Lamia first.”

"...of course," Hades murmured. "You collect those who have been wronged by Olympus... Very well. My wife and I shall return in four days' time. I wish you luck in your meeting, then." 

Instead of standing, the god simply melted into the couch and vanished. 

“Well, that was… something,” Gaghiel murmured, watching as Leliel immediately fell over the moment Hades vanished. “.... Are you alright, Leliel?”

“I am. Drunk.” Leliel answered calmly, as though she hadn’t just downed three quarters of a full bottle of vodka in less than thirty seconds. “I may or may not pass out soon.”

"Noted," Gaghiel rolled her eyes. "I won't be using Leliel Express any time soon, then." 

"Fuck you, sis," Leliel declared and passed out. 


	6. Queen And Mother

Gaghiel strode out into the Libyan sands with a yawn and a grimace, stretching idly as she pulled herself free from the waves and began looking around the area. There… wasn’t really much to talk about honestly. It was dry and arid, with shrubs and bushes fading into short trees the further inland one went. There was something in the distance that looked kind of like a walled city, though it also could have just been a rock face jutting out of the coastline.

"Now then," she mused to herself, "Caves." She _pulsed_ her Soul, once again looking for suffering, and once again wincing at the _amount_ of it. "...fucking Olympians," the Angel muttered, heading towards the greatest source of it. 

She grumbled quietly as she walked south, following the coastline for some time before crossing into the scrublands beyond. It was… _hot_ in Libya, even near the coast, where the rocky outcroppings and waves provided regions of swift blowing winds that ruffled her clothes and made her hair fan out behind her in waves.

Even still, even away from the ocean, away from the comforting coolness of the depths, she wasn’t bothered. Angel of fish she may have been, but a weakling she was not. Unlike Arael, she wouldn’t be quite so bothered by the heat of the sun thanks to the shield of her soul.

She walked and walked and walked some more, trudging along well worn roads and following unbeaten paths through trees and brush, until she found what she was looking for.

A solitary cave in a cliff face, overlooking a marvelous city state- though, one that had clearly seen better days.

She knocked on the cave entrance, palming her face when no sound came. "I'm an idiot," she muttered. Instead, she simply raised her voice. "Hello? Is anyone home?" 

“Who goes there!?” a voice called back, hissing and malevolent almost like the Gorgons, but with a different intonation- a language difference, though Gaghiel could understand her without much problem. “Leave, intruder, before I tear you limb from limb and devour you whole!”

“My name is Gaghiel,” the Angel yelled back. “I come in peace! I seek to end the suffering perpetuated by the Olympians! Please hear me out!”

“How do I know you tell the truth, stranger!?” the voice called back, the owner of which slithered into view a moment later and- 

Oh.

Oh my.

Gaghiel studiously tried to keep her eyes on the Queen’s face and not on her prodigious… assets. Despite the fact that they were just. Hanging there. Out in the open. Swaying gently as the snake woman shifted slightly with every movement.

“I have... helped others in these past few days,” Gaghiel declared, establishing eye contact and, with a firm application of will, _kept_ it. “The Sisters Medusa, Stheno and Euryale are free from their curse. Scylla no longer seeks to ravage the ships and flesh of sailors. Charybdis is no longer forced to hunger for the sea. I can free you as well from your suffering!”

“You make yourself sound _heroic,_ ” Lamia sneered. “What did you do to them? Kill them? Are you planning to kill _me?_ For know this, _Gaghiel,_ I do not expect to go _quietly!_ ”

“Wh- no! I didn’t kill them!” Gaghiel protested, continuing to try and keep her eyes on Lamia’s face even as the naked snake woman reared back into a defensive stance. “I gave them their bodies back! They’re my adopted siblings now, I swear!”

"Then why do you not look me in the _eye_ when you say that?" the queen snarled. "Your gaze strays from mine every time you utter your words! Do you take me for a fool?" 

“I’m only doing that because your boobs are really big and they’re just _hanging there_ and _I really wanna kiss them_!” Gaghiel immediately cried out, pointing directly at Lamia’s breasts before paling and clapping her hands over her mouth. “Ah. Shit.”

Lamia blinked in astonishment. "You... You stray your eyes, not because you speak of lies, but for you are simply _that_ sapphic?" 

A laugh fell from the Queen's lips, bubbling and swelling, as the nude snake-woman simply laughed, long, hard and free, for several minutes before the hissing sounds of amusement finally died down and Lamia wiped her eyes. "Oh, I have not laughed so in many a score, O Gaghiel of the sapphic persuasion. You claim to be capable of giving me back my body? I will grant you a single attempt. Fail, and I shall flee, cursing your name with my every breath..."

Her eyes softened. "Should your claim be truthful, however, and you succeed in dismantling my curse... I shall allow you the kisses you desire of me." 

“A single attempt is all I need,” Gaghiel immediately declared, wiping the collected drool from her lips and stepping forward with focused, almost manic intent, her eyes shining as she pulled a core from her pocket and immediately pressed it into Lamia’s chest. “I, Gaghiel, pronounce you freed from your curse!”

And in an instant, the entire cave erupted into a brilliant burst of light, searing the eyes of those in the city below and shaking the earth. The mountainside cave erupted further as Lamia rose out of it, a serpentine beast with draconic features, an oceanic dragon and a desert snake all at once, resplendent in her beauty.

She faded moments later, shrinking back down into a human form not dissimilar from her previous body, though once more blessed with true legs and no longer afflicted with her terrible sleeplessness or infanticidal hunger. Her skin had changed, from sandy scales back to a beautiful dark bronze, and her eyes had become the color of gold.

Gaghiel quietly noted that she had some resemblance to Zeruel, though with enough of a difference in facial structure such that she was unique amongst the family- just like the rest of her new sisters.

Lamia took a single step - and immediately fell to her knees, tears of joy gathering in the corners of her eyes. "You succeeded..." she whispered. "My hunger has left me, and although I now boast a form even more monstrous than the one I had... It cannot torment me. I just feel... Human." 

She raised her gaze, a dusky expression within them as a smile played on her lips. "You may have your kiss, Gaghiel, Daughter of Sappho. I shall allow it." 

Gaghiel swallowed thickly, blinking in surprise as she tried to control herself from the sudden warring emotions in her chest, joyous tears forming as she grinned wide and helped Lamia to her feet. 

“Welcome to the family, Lamia,” she murmured, then stepped in, stood on her toes, and kissed Lamia with everything she had.

<>

Leliel took one look at Gaghiel as she wandered in with Lamia, took in her dreamy expression and Lamia's mirthful one, and immediately collapsed into a fit of helpless laughter. 

“What’s funny?” Charybdis asked idly as she took in Leliel’s squirming form, tilting her head before noticing Gaghiel and Lamia… and the state of Gaghiel’s clothes… and Lamia’s lack thereof. “Oh. Ohhhhh. Elder sister, when Medusa said to meet with Queen Lamia, I didn’t know she meant to meet her like _that!”_

“Like wha- ohhhh. Eldest sister got _laid_ ,” Medusa muttered, grinning ear to ear as she took in the sight of their newest sibling. “Welcome to the family, dear sister cousin.”

A round of friendly greetings met Lamia’s ears as she strode forth, while Gaghiel simply giggled and collapsed onto the nearest couch with a happy sigh.

The only point of contention, though, immediately became apparent as Scylla’s soul pulsed against that of the newcomer… and _recoiled._

“Mother!?” Scylla screamed in open shock, staring at Lamia as her tanned face paled into a cold and fishlike white. “You- you’re m-my… my _mom!?”_

Lamia's own eyes were wide. "...Oh," she whispered. "I... I have forgotten much... I am so, _so_ sorry..." 

"How does one's mother become one's younger sister?" Charybdis mused. "This family, _really..."_ She was met with several incredulous looks. 

"...Maybe _read the room?"_ Medusa suggested acidly. 

“Yes ma’am,” Charybdis whimpered back, digging herself into the couch cushions and watching placidly as Scylla and Lamia held onto each other, squeezing each other tight and sobbing as if they’d each disappear forever if the other let go.

Neither woman let up for several minutes, both of them crying hot tears of regret and cursing the gods over and over for having been separated so long that they’d each forgotten the other existed.

Gaghiel watched the situation with a frown. "I get the nastiest feeling," she murmured, "that this won't be the last time we end up with a situation like that, and I don't like it." 

“Tangled, are the family trees of the gods,” Stheno nodded quietly, sighing as she settled on top of Gaghiel and frowned. “I would not be surprised if more of us were actually already cousins than not. The Lord of the Gods is… very free with his loins, and the gods think nothing of defiling each other even as birth siblings. We, at least, are merely siblings in name.”

"Fuck him," Gaghiel declared with emotion. She then paused and reconsidered that statement. "...Actually, just curse him. I feel like fucking him is just going to cause problems." 

"Indeed," Euryale murmured, draping herself across Gaghiel’s shoulders. "Accidental problems, at that. I would very much rather cause problems on purpose." 

“I thought we were supposed to _kill_ Zeus, not curse him,” Medusa muttered, slinking into Gaghiel’s lap and winding around her legs slightly such that she was entirely covered by the snaky coils of the Gorgons’ tails. “Though, I’m more invested in slaying _Athena_. As I’m sure you two are as well.”

“Indeed, but we can work our way up,” Euryale shrugged. “And Zeus is a more prominent problem anyway.”

“Perhaps if we bring Typhon and Echidna into our fold, we stand more of a chance,” Stheno murmured, huffing slightly at being half buried by her sisters. “I very much doubt Echidna enjoys being trapped in a cave lest she be constantly attacked, and I’m sure Typhon would very much like to kill Zeus for trapping him under a mountain.”

"Typhon and Echidna?" Gaghiel inquired. "Do I want to know what happened to them? _I mean I probably need to, but you know what I mean..."_

“Typhon, the primordial son of the earth itself,” Stheno murmured, speaking the name reverently as if it were a force worth worshipping. “He sought to overthrow Zeus, but was beaten back by the Olympians and buried beneath Mount Etna, on an isle not too far from the Hellas mainland.”

“His wife, Echidna, is among one of the earliest children of the sea gods Phorcys and Ceto. They birthed many monsters in their union,” Euryale continued, biting her lip as the air seemed to gain some kind of a charge, as if merely mentioning the two together could bring their power into the world.

“.... He’s uh. Also technically our brother in law,” Medusa mentioned at last, completely dispelling the near mystical tension in the air with a single sentence. “Echidna is… our very, very older sister. Like. Waaaaaaaaaay older, but still. That makes them part of the family already! Technically. Sort of. Echidna’s kinda bitchy though.”

“I would like to meet them both anyway,” Gaghiel noted. 

“Well, I can _kinda_ tell you where big sis Echidna is,” Medusa nodded, then pursed her lips and turned back to Scylla and Lamia. “... Wait hang on. I think I just remembered… Who’s Scylla’s father again?”

“...” Euryale stared, looking beyond the skin deep lack of resemblance to directly peer at Scylla’s soul, comparing it to their own. “No way. Noooo way. Scylla _can’t_ be our half sister! We would have known if she was older than us and there’s _no way_ she’s younger than us!”

“... Yeah but… if she’s our half sister, we never would have seen her anyway. She would have been in Libya with Lamia over there,” Stheno murmured, blinking slowly and rubbing her forehead. “So wait. Are we saying that out of all of us newly born Angels so far, the only one of us who isn’t related to Phorcys somehow is _CHARYBDIS!?”_

“To be fair,” the only original Angel amongst them pointed out, “It’s not like your new family isn’t equally tangled in its own way anyway...”

“Yes, but this is… an actual, literal mess of a family tree that isn’t brought on by a web of adoptions,” Stheno mentioned, watching calmly as Lamia and Scylla finally released each other and went off somewhere private to catch up. “Speaking of- I can’t believe you fucked our stepmother, Gaghiel.”

“Mess of- My little brother exists in three branches simultaneously!” Gaghiel exclaimed. “The cousin branch has four fathers also simultaneously! _This_ branch has somehow _switched Progenitors_ when Lilith became one with ADAM and took over as Mother of Everything! And that’s not even _counting_ the mess that is the Ayanami - _and none of it qualifies as adoption!_ Me fucking my own stepsister who happens to be stepmother to several other stepsisters and actual mother to a fourth stepsister is _peanuts!_ ”

“.... I take it back, that’s actually somehow worse than our genealogical background,” Stheno deadpanned, palming her face as she tried very hard to not think too hard about the family genetics going on in her new sisterhood. “It sounds absolutely awful.”

“...Why?” Gaghiel asked. “We all love each other nonetheless, even if we sometimes pretend that Tabris doesn’t exist...”

“Not the family, the actual family tree,” Stheno clarified, shuddering as she tried to imagine the sheer amount of chaos happening in it with every new addition. “Imagine having to [chart](https://cdn.discordapp.com/attachments/377552830799675442/723269772363563138/familytree02.png) it all, including parentage of those of us adopted into the family.”

“I’m pretty sure _someone_ has charted the original tree at least,” Gaghiel mused. “But yeah, adoptions... Hrm.”

“I would try, but I don’t think I want to go insane. Again.” Charybdis deadpanned idly from where she’d moved from the couch and just been lounging in the pool, apparently having just not said anything for the last few minutes. “Also, I was never one for charts. Paper and ink don’t work so well underwater, y’know?”

"It would have to be someone who actually keeps track of the entire tree," Gaghiel noted. "I'll talk to Tabris later." 

“Why is it that even I still feel a general irritation at the thought of Tabris despite having never met him and being adopted?” Stheno asked curiously, tapping her core and frowning a bit. “Is he really _that_ pretentious or is this just the world’s longest running joke at our sort of demi hemi semi brother’s expense?”

Gaghiel thought for a moment. "...A bit of both, I suspect," she finally said. "Most of that irritation comes from the fact that we have no idea how he's even related, given that he's a multidimensional hive mind of his own alternate selves and all that..." 

“... That sounds absolutely awful to even try to think about,” Euryale muttered, not really even wanting to try and wrap her head around the concept of Tabris’ existence even if she were totally capable of doing so now. “Let’s think about something less terrible, shall we?”

"Like what?" Gaghiel inquired. "I'm kind of out of ideas here... And also kind of worried over all the others I could be helping right now..." 

"...when did you last sleep?" Medusa deadpanned. 

The Angel of Fish thought for a moment. "...two days ago? Ish? Why?" 

"Because," Stheno declared, "you won't be going off to fight _anyone_ if you haven’t had a good night's sleep. Got it?" 

"But Angels need far less sleep-" 

_"Got it?"_ Euryale echoed ominously. 

"...Going to sleep," Gaghiel agreed meekly.


	7. A Quiet Breather

Gaghiel yawned quietly as she awoke the next day, smacking her lips together as she squinted up at the ceiling of her room and took stock of her situation. She felt around with her soul, gentle enough to not wake anyone else up even as she looked around with her own eyes. With her in bed was Lamia… as well as Charybdis and Scylla. And Stheno. And Euryale. And Medusa.

Thankfully, Leliel was still asleep in her own room, though Gaghiel couldn’t miss the extra shadow lying on the bed where there was no body- a shadow with a tendril leading down to the floor, out the door, and presumably across the hallway to where Leliel’s actual body was.

Cuddlepile, she decided, smiling faintly. How nice. 

Unfortunately for Gaghiel, her bladder made itself very loud and apparent at that very moment, leaving her both extremely comfortable in bed and trapped beneath six bodies… all while needing to pee so bad she almost felt like she was going to explode.

She groaned. “Right. Unless anyone has a piss fetish or something, please let me get up?”

“.... That has absolutely got to be the worst sentence to wake up to,” Stheno groaned, blinking the sleep out of her eyes as she slithered off of the bed and thumped to the floor. “Not even Athena shouting at me after waking up from getting raped was as bad as what I just heard.”

“Seconded,” Medusa muttered, doing the same as Stheno, followed shortly by Euryale who completed the trio with a “thirded”.

“... I’m not even going to _begin_ to try and understand that,” Lamia deadpanned, picking up Scylla and Charybdis and rolling away from Gaghiel, leaving her completely free to move and without any more snaky or fishy coils wrapped around her.

“Thanks,” she vanished bathroomwards. Scylla rolled her eyes.

“Do yourself a favor and never access the meme folder, Mom,” she advised.

“.... Too late,” Lamia grimaced, making a disgusted expression as she immediately regretted every single one of her life choices. Well. Maybe not all of them, but certainly the choice she’d just made right then. “I suddenly regret _everything…_ though I suppose it’s refreshing to know that even in civilizations thousands of years in the future of their analogs of this world, humanity’s sense of humor has not changed in the absolute slightest. I… could have done without seeing the nudes folder though.”

“We all could have,” Charybdis muttered, “yet here we are.”

“Well, on the plus side, at least all of our family members are very attractive,” Stheno shrugged, still flopped on the floor bonelessly since she didn’t want to get up yet. “... Except for Gendo, though even that might change if he lost the scruffy beard and smiled more.”

"I don't know, he looks kind of handsome with that beard," Euryale mused. "Scruffy. Without it he'd probably be all _angles_ or something." 

"I _like_ angles," Stheno defended. "He should definitely smile more though." 

"I don't think so," Medusa poked into the conversation, "I look at that man and a smile would just look _weird_ on that face. He'd look much sexier with a smirk." 

"Ooh," Stheno frowned, "Now I'm conflicted. But what _kind_ of smirk though?" 

“The one he gets when he’s pretending to be a brooding genius but really he’s just happy that he managed to win an online argument,” Euryale joked, then immediately started snickering. “Okay no, but still. At least he’s got a nice body, even if his face is a little iffy.”

"Oh, absolutely," Medusa agreed. "I especially like the one with the _abs..._ Mmmmm. Yummy!" 

“.... I can’t believe you all are thirsting over someone who is both _married_ and has no interest in anyone other than his wives,” Lamia muttered, rubbing her forehead and sighing. “... Then again, I suppose that’s not the most uncommon situation in the greater scope of existence.”

"...We are still flesh and blood, you know," Euryale pointed out. "It's an, uh, what's the word..." 

"Coping mechanism?" Scylla deadpanned. 

"Yeah, that," Euryale agreed. "...Wait." 

“Yes, we’re using our lust as a coping mechanism,” Scylla rolled her eyes, sighing as she stretched out and crawled back into bed. “All of us have been tortured, hated, reviled, and cursed into monstrous bodies for literally hundreds of years at _least_. It’s no surprise that all of us are trying to forget about it.”

“That is just... depressing,” Lamia murmured.

“We have high functioning depression. It’s a species-wide trait at this point,” Scylla deadpanned in response, rolling over and groaning as she pulled the blankets back over her head. “The only one of us who _doesn’t_ have depression is a literal golem who’s such a ray of sunshine her name literally means _Light of God_.”

"Who decided that the Angels needed depression?" Euryale complained. "Who decided to add that to the template?" 

"They've ruined a perfectly good Angel is what they did," Charybdis deadpanned. "Look at them. They've got anxiety." 

She received a pillow to the face, courtesy of Scylla, and a screech of 'No more memes, _seriously!'._ The sea monster just snickered. 

<>

“Okay, I was gone for literally ten minutes. What did I miss?” Gaghiel deadpanned as she stepped out of the bathroom a few minutes later, taking in the scene of total chaos- feathers spilling out of destroyed pillows, sheets and blankets spilled all over the ground, and six Angels tangled around each other on the floor groaning because somehow none of them shifted their tails back into legs and at some point all of them had gotten knotted around each other.

"Chaos," Lamia deadpanned. "Complete and utter chaos. That is all. Nothing else happened." 

“... Yeah, I can kinda see that now,” Gaghiel sighed, pinching the bridge of her nose as the rest of her siblings all slowly and carefully disentangled themselves from each other and the bedsheets. “What exactly happened to cause what I can only assume was an extraordinarily chaotic pillow fight?”

"You don't want to know," Scylla groaned. "You absolutely-" 

"The Gorgons were being thirsty," Charybdis chirped, "and MMMPH!" 

"You _absolutely,"_ Scylla stressed, " _don't_ want to know." 

“.... Yeah let’s uh… there’s a lot to unpack here but let’s just throw the entire suitcase away,” Gaghiel decided calmly, nodding to herself as she toweled her hair and got dressed, then opened the door and sighed. “Do any of you want breakfast or is smothering Charybdis with a pillow going to take a while?”

"I _would_ like to break fast with you," Lamia agreed, carefully untangling herself. "Please, lead the way." 

“Great, this way!” Gaghiel smiled and lead Lamia along, sighing happily as they wandered through the wide corridors of their ever expanding home away from home, following the smell of breakfast until they reached the kitchen, where some kind of horrible abomination was currently manning the stove and cooking several things at once.

“Mornin’ Leliel!” Gaghiel patted said bedraggled Angel on the head, pushing the stripey bedhead out of her eyes and giving her a hug. “You’re looking eldritch this morning.”

"We've had a few... _Additions..._ to the Network," Leliel groaned. "I spent the entire night dealing with updates. Did you know time sometimes flows differently between universes? I do! Did you know time is a tangible illusion? I do! Did you know that our lives are a figment of someone's imagination? _I do!"_

She flopped into even more eldritch configurations. "Is this the real life?" 

"Is it just fantasy?" Gaghiel grinned back. "Caught in a landslide..." 

“No. Stop. Charybdis already spews enough memes,” Lamia immediately clapped her hand over Gaghiel’s mouth, rubbing her forehead irritably and sighing. “And who cares about all that anyway? We’re real enough to each other and we’re certainly real enough to do… ahem. Certain _things_ with each other, so why bother caring if we actually live in a simulation or not?”

Gaghiel grinned. "Trust a mother to find the right thing to say," she happily mumbled through Lamia's hand. 

“Right, well, having more spacetime aligned Angels meant that I had to do a _lot_ of updating on my own causality calculations and I’m _super_ tired still,” Leliel mumbled, blinking slowly as she picked herself off the floor, dumped the entire contents of one of the skillets she was cooking food in into her mouth, and washed it down with an entire jug of coffee. “So I’m going to go pass out before you end up ripple-effecting the lyrics of Bohemian Rhapsody across the rest of the fami- and we’re already too late. Dammit.”

"Whoops," Gaghiel chuckled nervously. "I'll man the breakfast. Go pass out, lil sis." 

“Great, now try not to get re-infected with the guitar solo part because I _know_ that one part makes _all_ of us go fucking nuts,” Leliel grumbled and swirled into the floor not unlike water down the drain, leaving Gaghiel and Lamia alone in the kitchen- at least, until everyone else stumbled in and took their seats.

While simultaneously murmuring the lyrics to Bohemian Rhapsody as if all possessed by the spirit of Freddie Mercury.

Well, except Charybdis. She was loudly, and proudly, belting the lyrics out at the top of her lungs in a manner far too loud for so early in the morning. Despite it being almost noon.

Gaghiel took in Lamia's unamused glare. "...Sorry?" she offered. 

“If I had any means of making her stop permanently, rest assured I would enact such swift and terrible fury upon her that the gods would tremble in sympathy,” Lamia hissed out, grumbling about idiot sisters screaming at fucking shit o’clock in the morning before rolling up a conveniently placed newspaper and thwacking Charybdis over the head with it with such force that Charybdis’ AT Field actually flared to life for a moment. “Cease your prattle! It’s far too early for such tuneless noise!”

“But it’s eleven thirtyyyyyy!” Charybdis whined, holding her head as she pouted up at her sister/stepmother/aunt/whatever and stuck out her tongue. “And it’s a really good song!”

"To be fair," Gaghiel agreed, "It _is_ a really good song. But eleven thirty is _kind of_ still morning, so..." 

Charybdis gained a horrified expression. "...oh _no._ I'm the only morning person around!" 

“Congratulations, you somehow managed to take after _Tabris_ of all people,” Gaghiel sighed, rubbing her forehead and turning back to the stove. “Absolutely wonderful, that is.”

"Do you think we have enough time to get Typhon and Echidna," Scylla mused, "or should we prepare for incoming guests? Hades and Persephone are showing up the day after tomorrow, after all..." 

“If we send one of you each to where they both are, it shouldn’t be too hard,” Lamia answered, then tilted her head and frowned. “Or, the six of us could split into two groups. The triplets can go find Echidna, since I’m fairly certain the bond of family is stronger for you lot, and since we already know where Typhon is, Charybdis, Scylla, and I can go retrieve him with some effort.”

"...wait, what about me?" Gaghiel questioned. 

"You stay here and make the house livable and/or at least capable of actually hosting guests," Charybdis deadpanned. "You stay riiiight here and we collect more family for you." 

"...I'm not a collector," Gaghiel pouted. 

“Gaghiel, the first thing you did the _week_ you arrived on this planet is _collect_ the two of us,” Scylla rolled her eyes, flicking Gaghiel on the nose and sticking her tongue out. “Even if you have the best of intentions about it, you _are_ still collecting us like action figures in a toy aisle.”

"That- no!" Gaghiel exclaimed, eyes wide. "I'd _never_ be so _callous_ with any of you to just put you on a shelf and forget about you! You're _family,_ not toys!" 

“Obviously not. It’s a metaphor, dearest sister,” Scylla huffed, patting Gaghiel on the head and rolling her eyes. “Perhaps you need some coffee to wake up your brain.”

“... Since when did you become the snarky one,” Gaghiel murmured, pouting as she sat down at the table and poured herself a mug of coffee, while Lamia served breakfast.

Idly, Gaghiel noted that Lamia apparently either forgot to get dressed, or just really didn’t care for clothes anymore since the only thing she was wearing was her braids draped across her chest just enough to provide the barest illusion of modesty.

Nice view, she thought. Then she caught Lamia’s wink and Scylla’s fake gag and realized she’d said it out loud.

“ _Please_ try not to fuck my mother in front of my fruit salad,” Scylla sighed, rolling her eyes and pulling said bowl of fruit salad protectively into her arms, while the Gorgon sisters just laughed from the other end of the table. 

“... Should we go soon?” Medusa finally cut in after several more seconds of uninterrupted laughter, grinning ear to ear as she fought down her snickers and stuffed the rest of her breakfast down into her unhinged gullet. “Echidna’s cave is a long ways from here, after all, and the three of us are… not so fast in the water as we’d like to be.”

“Let’s,” Stheno agreed. “Race you?”

“Oh bitch you’re _on,_ ” Euryale growled playfully, emptying her plate and rising. “Threetwonego!”

“Wh- wait up!”

Charybdis snickered as the three sisters raced out of the house. “Come on, Scylla,” she grinned, rising herself. “Let your mom have her goodbye kisses~”

“If I let her get her kisses, she’s going to be here for _hours_ ,” Scylla hissed, flicking Charybdis upside the head and standing up before striding out the door. “So let’s just go ahead and maybe she’ll catch up by the time we get to Echidna.”

“I’m not _that_ bad,” Lamia huffed, crossing her arms and rolling her eyes at her daughter as she and Charybdis ran off.

Gaghiel only grinned knowingly.

  
“... Well… maybe a _little…”_


	8. Two New Siblings

“Oiiii! Oiiiii!” Medusa called out, cupping her hands around her mouth as she shouted into the very large and spooky cave that seemed to have a river of blood pouring out of it. “Helloooooo, Echidnaaaaa? Are you theeeeere? It’s me, Medusa! Your baby sister! I don’t think we’ve met in the last five hundred years but are you still alive?”

_ “My sisters,” _ came a sickly rasp,  _ “are dead. I do not know who you are to claim to be, but go away and leave me be.” _

“Cursed doesn’t mean dead,” Euryale yelled. “This is Euryale by the way, and no we’re not fuckin dead!”

_ “Prove it,” _ the voice rumbled.

“Five hundred years ago- oh yeah, it’s me, Stheno! Y’know, the oldest of us three loser triplets? Anyway! Five hundred years ago, on the eve of Aphrodite’s festival day, you spent three hours getting ready to go sneak out and bang Typhon that you didn’t notice you were singing about it until you bumped into Hermes in the middle of the road! And  _ then _ , you screamed so loud that the Olympians almost thought it was  _ Pan! _ ” Stheno cried out into the cave, before a mass of tendrils, snaky heads hissing and spitting at the end of a hundred necks, crashed into her and made her shut her mouth.

“THAT DID  _ NOT _ HAPPEN!” Echidna bellowed, immediately rampaging out of the cave with her hands held before her as if to throttle Stheno, her face twisted into some mix of righteous indignation and embarrassment both. 

"Prove it," Medusa snickered as she lightly batted Echidna's arms aside. 

Echidna immediately deflated and growled, smacking Medusa upside the head in a motion that was both familiar and far too gentle to be anything other than sisterly acceptance. “I hate you three hellions so much. Would I been allowed in yonder human settlement, I would have traded you three as babes for a single cup of wheat flour.”

"Oof, harsh," Euryale snickered. "Hey, do you want a human form?" 

“.... Why would I wish to be one of those horrid little meat sacks that the Olympians put on the planet to torment me and my children?” Echidna scoffed, then looked down at her younger sisters. “... Or do you mean a  _ human shaped _ form? I admit, having the ability to walk with two legs is something I am… envious of. Though not entirely. Typhon always did like it when I- ahem. Let’s not go into that.”

"Let me handle this," Stheno whispered to her sisters, before straightening. "Also comes with a free 'giant monster' form, check  _ this  _ out!" She  _ stretched.  _

Echidna could only stare as Stheno was replaced by a mountain sized serpent of bronze, jaw dropping in open awe as the sheer weight of her presence crushed the earth where she hovered over- or maybe that was just her dropping to the ground.

“... Very well. I will take it,” Echidna nodded resolutely, making grabby motions at Medusa. “Gimme.”

The Gorgon snickered. "Then welcome to the Greater Family, little big sis!" She produced a Core from nowhere, and pressed it onto Echidna's stomach. 

Flashes of thunder bloomed as the woman  _ grew.  _ Her scaled lower half thickened, overlapping bony plates growing on it; her human half grew with it. Echidna's hair thickened into many flexible flat planes that gently waved in the air; the bony plates grew upwards, sheathing her Core between them. Her eyes multiplied; two became four became sixteen, fixing themselves onto her neck and shoulders. 

The serpent-woman's shoulderblades doubled, another set of arms growing from them; after moments of hesitation, they split into manyfold serpentine tendrils. The bony plates ran down Echidna's arms and up her jawline, leaving room for mandibles: the rest of her face lengthened, gaining features similar to the skull of a dragon. 

With a final flash, Echidna, now slightly towering above Stheno's form, let loose a victorious chuckle. **_"Oh yessssss,"_** she rumbled. **_"NOW we're talking. Oh, Typhon is going to absolutely LOVE me~"_**

Medusa and Euryale stared upwards with flat expressions. "This is the point," Euryale deadpanned, "where I suddenly recall with  _ acute  _ clarity that Echidna and Typhon are both monsterfuckers." 

"And Echidna isn't particularly a fan of the human form in the first place," Medusa agreed. "...this could be a problem." 

"...I wonder how the other three are doing," Euryale mused, watching Echidna scratch Stheno from under the chin with a faintly disturbed expression. "Probably worse..." 

<>

“So um… how do we get a mountain sized monster… out from under a mountain that he’s trapped under?” Charybdis finally asked as they drew close to Mount Etna, listening to the hammering and bellowing from within as Typhon raged and powered the forges of Hephaestus.

"I mean, there's two ways obviously," Scylla mused. "The subtle way or the Ramiel way." 

"I... Do not think any of us are capable of this kind of output," Lamia pointed out. "But we  _ can  _ quietly Core him and see what happens, right?" 

"In my experience," Charybdis spoke slowly, "the result is usually a sudden transformation into the Angel form... Oh, I see. We're banking on his size, shape, and/or power shifting enough that he'd be able to break out on his own?" 

“I would certainly hope that it’s enough- Typhon alone was enough to destroy many things, but a mountain was slightly too much for his strength, even moreso when he’s pinned beneath it with the mountain itself constantly sapping his strength,” Lamia nodded, pursing her lips and sniffing the air as she looked around. “We’re close. We’re going to need to start digging a tunnel, deep into the earth- at least several kilometers down.”

"I can use water as a high-yield drill and cutter," Charybdis spoke up. "I can be on digging duty if you want!" 

“Wonderful. Charybdis, start digging and head towards wherever Typhon’s soul is. I don’t think I need to tell you to be careful, but do it anyway. Scylla… I suppose you and I can only follow for now, unless you have some manner of digging ability,” Lamia shrugged and watched as Charybdis began spitting water from her mouth, shaping it into a drill and digging into the packed earth at the base of the mountain. 

Scylla tilted her head and thought. "...maybe if I go full size," she finally said, "but that would kind of defeat the purpose of a stealthy approach..." 

Lamia sighed. "Yeah, I figured." 

She shrugged and shook her head, then proceeded to keep watch as Charybdis quickly dug a tunnel large enough for the three of them to walk through unhindered, though the further down Charybdis went, the hotter it seemed to get, all the way to the point where instead of puddles, the aftermath of Charybdis’ drill smashing through rocks produced steam that began hissing off of the suddenly boiling hot rocks.

"I think we’re getting close," Scylla deadpanned. 

"We're specifically getting close to Hephaestus' forge," Lamia corrected. "We should proceed carefully." 

Charybdis paused in her drilling, wiping the sweat from her brow and groaning as she stepped back and flexed her AT Field. “It’s getting really hot, but I think we need to go even lower to get to where Typhon is…”

"...Mom, you lived and ruled and whatnot in a desert," Scylla said suddenly. "Do you happen to know how to regulate your temperature?" 

“I do, in fact,” Lamia nodded, pressing her AT Field down on the area and immediately cooling the rocks and air in the tunnel to a much more acceptable degree. “Not as good as Azariel could have done, but it should do long enough for us to release Typhon from his imprisonment.” 

“Right,” Charybdis declared. “I’m going deeper. And slower. Lamia, focus your cooling to my drill please? Scylla, you, uh, stand there and look useful...”

“ _ Thanks, _ ” the sea monster snarked. “I could do without the comments thank you very much.”

“No problem~!” Charybdis chirped and continued drilling on, sighing happily as Lamia kept the area cool and made her drilling efforts go that much faster.

Eventually, after another few hours of drilling, changing angles, drilling some more, grumbling about the increasing heat, drilling some more, stopping for lunch, drilling some more, grumbling louder about the literally volcanic heat they were getting into, and then drilling  _ even more _ …

“Huh. Y’know, I kind of expected him to be like… really angry or something,” Charybdis mumbled quietly, staring out at the lake of magma that entrapped Typhon, who was mostly just asleep while his snores blew massive jets of flame upwards into what looked like some complicated machinery in the actual volcano above the magma chamber they’d drilled into.

“It smells of curse magic,” Lamia responded, sniffing the air and flicking out her tongue as she tasted the magic around them. “The magma chamber is cursed to prevent Typhon from waking ever again, and the chains binding Typhon are cursed to sap his strength away in the form of his flaming breath.”

“...do you think the curse of sleep will affect anyone entering the magma,” Scylla mused, “or only him?”

“Good question,” Lamia agreed, flicking her tongue again. “...only him. Are you thinking what I think you’re thinking?”

“I’m going to swim through lava and jam a core in Typhon’s chest, yes,” Scylla nodded, completely deadpan as she generated a core and took a deep breath. “... Wow this is going to hurt. A lot.”

Before Lamia or Charybdis could react, Scylla immediately performed a perfect dive into the lava below, cutting through it like a fish through water… before immediately popping back to the surface, AT Field cranked to full power, and screaming like an entire army of banshees.

“ARRRRGH FUCK FUCK SHIT FUCK OW MOTHER BITCH TITS FUCK SHIT GOD FUCK ADAM DAMMIT HOLY GOD MOTHER OF FUCK SHIT OW СВОЛОЧЬ ПИЗДЕЦ МУДАК ЕБАТЬ СУКА ГАВНО БЛЯТЬ ΓΑΜΏ ΤΑ ΠΕΘΑΜΈΝΑ ΣΟΥ ΜΑΛΆΚΑ ΜΟΎΤΖΑ CAZZO PORCA MISERIA STRONZO MINCHIA-”

“Wow, she is  _ going _ for it,” Charybdis muttered, wincing as Scylla butchered every swear word in every language possible as she did some kind of flailing mix between drowning, freestyle, and doggy paddle towards Typhon. “Holy goddamn that’s loud.”

“... I’d be mad about her blaspheming, but the gods are assholes and she’s swimming in lava so,” Lamia shrugged, sighing and rubbing her forehead.

“-GODSHIT MOTHER OF DAMN!” Scylla finally pulled herself out of the burning lava, groaning as she crawled onto Typhon’s giant, hairy chest and gingerly picked her way across the shifting expanse of rock encrusted muscles and skin until she sort of eyeballed the general center of his sternum and. “Hokay- by the power invested in me as kind of your niece in law or some shit, I don’t know anymore and I was just on fire so I don’t care- Rise! Typhon!”

She slammed the core down.

Mount Etna  _ exploded _ .

<>

“I would ask how you’ve all been doing, but considering that Hephaistos is heavily injured and Mount Etna no longer  _ exists _ , I think I can assume quite well what you’ve done,” Hades deadpanned as he entered the Angels’ home, along with the radiant beauty by his side that was Persephone. Both of them bore gifts of wine and bread, though Persephone had also brought along a gift basket full of fresh fruit.

He winced as the entire building shook in time with a bestial roar, then fixed Gaghiel with an even more tired look. “I’m going to assume that was Typhon and Echidna siring yet another set of horrible creatures with which to plague the land and pretend that I can’t hear it.”

“Honestly it’s kind of homely now,” Gaghiel shrugged, feigning obliviousness towards several incredulous glares pointed towards her direction. “It’s a nice atmosphere in my opinion.” She also ignored Charybdis mouthing ‘they’re  _ all _ insane’ behind her. “So! Welcome to our humble abode!”

She also ingored Leliel, or at least tried to, when the latter pushed her out of the way and kissed Persephone’s hand. “Thank you for gracing us with your presence,” the younger Angel greeted. “Please excuse my older sister, she finds sex romantic.”

“Is it not?” Persephone inquired right back, arching an amused eyebrow. “I’d think it was extemely romantic.”

“Even when your siblings do it all over the place-” Leliel began, before quieting. “No, wait, you share family with Zeus, you already know what it’s like...”

“In my exceedingly humble opinion,” Hades drawled, “I count Zeus doing it as evidence for it being  _ not _ very romantic around your siblings.”

“I’m being ganged up on,” Gaghiel complained.

“Good, now tell the two lovebirds to get their asses out of bed and cleaned up for dinner,” Scylla deadpanned, grabbing Gaghiel by the shoulders and turning her away before pushing her in the vague direction of the bedrooms.

“Fiiiiiiiine,” Gaghiel sighed, bowing sarcastically before trudging off to do something she’d really rather not.

Interrupt a couple mid-coitus.

Last time she did that, she walked in and got absolutely  _ covered _ in sticky stuff. It had taken  _ ages _ to get the stuff out of her hair.

“Oi, you two!” she yelled through the door instead.

**_“WHAT?”_ ** came a throaty bellow, which Gaghiel after a moment identified as Echidna’s voice. 

“Finish up over there and get cleaned up for dinner!” she yelled. “We have guests!”

**“Oh shit, is Hades here already?”** came a far more polite vocalization.  **“Sorry, we lost track of time - we’ll be right over!”**

“Thanks, Typhon,” Gaghiel replied, giving a thumbs up before realizing she was still behind the door - after which she just slinked away and hoped nobody saw that.

Judging from the fact that Stheno was slow clapping at the end of the hall, she was entirely unsuccessful at that.

“Can we eat yet?” the snaky Angel asked, rolling her eyes and tilting her head to the side at an angle that would have been a broken neck in an ordinary human. “Leliel brought KFC from  _ somewhere _ and it smells so good I’m  _ this _ close to eating it all by myself.”

“When Typhon and Echidna come down,” Gaghiel answered. “Also, don’t be so impatient, we have  _ guests! _ ”

“Yes, I’m aware we’re host to the King of the Underworld and the Goddess of Springtime,” Stheno deadpanned, rolling her head back into proper alignment before rolling her eyes as well. “And considering the fact that the two idiot lovebirds need to shower first, we might be a while.”

Gaghiel stared, mildly perturbed. “...did you just SHAFT-tilt at me?”

“Maybe,” Stheno shrugged. “I dunno, I just found it at the ‘current memes’ folder and thought I’d try it out.”

“...now I simultaneously wonder and not want to know what the other siblings are up to,” Gaghiel murmured. “Hey, can we just skip ahead and think about something else?”

“Fine by me,” Stheno shrugged. “We’ll talk again next chapter.”


	9. The War Council

“Were it at all possible without drawing the attention of my idiot youngest brother, I would hang this bucket of chicken in the sky as a declaration of its godliness,” Hades mumbled quietly, burping into a napkin as he wiped the remnants of grease and crumbs from his lips and fingers, looking a bit bloated after he’d singlehandedly demolished at least three family sized buckets of KFC in less than an hour- all while remaining true and proper to his godlike manners.

Persephone, on the other hand, had demolished  _ five _ , and had shown about the same grace as a woodland nymph- not a lot, but just enough to look cute rather than like a horrifying ravenous beast made of teeth and nightmares.

Fortunately for everyone, Leliel had brought more than enough chicken to feed a mid sized army.

“...It’s just chicken,” Gaghiel complained. “Bits of chicken probably just deepried in oil. I don’t get the fascination. Gimme sushi any day.”

“It’s a flavor and texture ne’er ‘fore seen on this world,” Lamia murmured idly, shoving an entire drumstick down her gullet and sighing happily. “True, frying in oil is known, but KFC is a pleasure all its own- and in such marvelous quantities as well, it’s a wonderful blessing. Unlike raw fish, which is, well. I’m sure most of us are tired of eating nothing but raw fish for centuries.”

“I know  _ I _ am,” Charybdis muttered, nodding along with Lamia. “Sushi is…  _ fine _ I guess, but it doesn’t beat the taste of twelve herbs and spices that were previously unknown in this world~”

“... The mashed potatoes are okay, I guess,” Scylla deadpanned, picking at her pile of fluffy, gravy covered potatoes and rolling her eyes. “I’m almost regretting deciding to go vegetarian. Almost.”

“Wasn’t I supposed to be the one who went vegetarian?” Charybdis munched around the last bits of bone. “So much for that, huh.”

“No you were just sick of gulping down half the ocean’s muck and drinking sea water,” Scylla answered, waving her hand idly at Charybdis in some manner of dismissal. “I was the one literally eating people without being able to control my own weird dog head things.”

“Oh yeah… right,” Charybdis murmured, then shrugged and went back to shoveling biscuits down her gullet. “Mmm~ Biscuits~”

“...Are we eating British or American biscuits?” Gaghiel mused, propping her chin on her hands and looking at the meal. “It’s kind of hard to tell for some reason...”

“Gaghiel, KFC is an  _ American _ fast food chain,” Leliel explained calmly, as if talking to a particularly stupid sibling. Which, well. If the shoe fit. “Considering that they’re soft and fluffy and about the size of my fist, I’m fairly certain we can call them the American kind.”

“... What’s America?” Stheno muttered quietly, looking between the two with an expression of confusion on her face. “And are all their foods as fatty and greasy as this?”

“Lands from across the Atlantic Ocean, doesn’t exist yet, and yes they are,” Gaghiel grumbled. “Seriously, give me maki rolls any time over this greasy mess.”

“I would hate to interject on what is likely to be an absolutely  _ riveting _ discussion about the nature of foods from beyond this land and time, but I believe we have something rather more important to discuss,” Hades cut in, folding his hands in front of his face as he fixed all the Angels with a heavy stare. “Specifically, what you lot are going to do about my younger siblings and what not. The Olympians, I mean.”

“Oh, except Hestia!” Persephone interjected quickly, flowers blooming around her hand where she touched the table. “Hestia has never done anything wrong- well, except, perhaps, allow Zeus to remain in control for so long.”

“Please don’t flower the table,” Leliel deadpanned, “some of us are going to have to deflower it later and we’re all very immature on that front.”

“Deflower,” Charybdis snickered.

“Case in point,” Gaghiel agreed. “As for the Olympians, the initial idea was to find them and punish them, so that they would never be able to curse anyone ever again.” She sighed. “In light of more information, however, some of our strategy needs to be rethought...”

**“I still say we kill them,”** Echidna rumbled.  **“Now that we know there are so many afterlives among the multiverse, we can always find** **_something_ ** **torturous enough for the lot.”**

“Well, there  _ is _ one version of Hell that would be torturous even for immortal, unkillable gods,” Leliel nodded to herself, then paused and frowned with a light wince. “Hm. Maybe sending Ireul off to that cluster was something of a bad idea.”

“... Why exactly did you send one of the single most fragile one of our siblings to a cluster containing an infinite amount of murderous hell demons?” Gaghiel muttered, looking at Leliel incredulously.

“She said something about refining how our souls process the energy we produce somehow, but didn’t mention what exactly she was planning so I just threw open a portal to one of the places she listed off and didn’t check where the end coordinates were,” Leliel shrugged, wincing a little bit. “She’ll be fine. She re-evolved her AT-field decades ago anyway, and as long as she doesn’t fuck a demon she probably won’t get corrupted.”

“Am I the only one who remembers how she  _ won _ the ‘most likely to fuck a demon’ poll a year ago?” Gaghiel questioned incredulously. “Seriously. Am I the only one who remembers that?”

“... Well, at least the demons in question this time aren’t cute girls,” Leliel sighed, then turned her attention back to their guests. “Apologies for the distraction, but if you wouldn’t mind giving us a list of those personally responsible for most of the wrongs in this world, we’d be happy to avoid those that don’t deserve eternal punishment and-slash-or getting horribly murdered by giant demons.”

“... Right.” Hades muttered, pulling a scroll from the depths of his robe and unfurling it as he began to fill it with names, his finger swirling black and allowing crimson ink to spill across the parchment to form perfect, elegant letters. “My idiot brother Zeus, obviously. Hera, though cut her a little slack- she’s jealous and temperamental, but she at least understands fidelity and caring for children. Hrm… Apollo is alright for the most part, though he just has horrible luck with some of his lovers- kick him in the balls a few times for Persephone’s sake, I think.”

“Castrate him,” Persephone corrected, smiling almost viciously as her flower wreath shriveled into a crown of thorns. “He tried to rape me once.  _ Once _ .”

“Once is  _ enough, _ ” Medusa hissed. “He shall  _ suffer. _ ”

“Very well, castration and a beating it is,” Hades grinned especially viciously, making an X next to Apollo’s name before moving on. “Artemis is alright, I think. She never once cursed anyone with the same malice as the other Olympians, and those she did curse never suffered for long. Though, granted, being turned into a deer and torn apart by hunting dogs for the crime of accidentally walking in on her bathing in a stream where literally anyone could find her is a bit much but then again, those hunters had the option of turning around and leaving rather than staying long enough to get caught.”

Gaghiel raised a hand. “Were those hunters male or female, and would she differentiate?”

“All male- Artemis, well,” Hades paused and pursed his lips as he looked off to the side, while Persephone just shrugged. “Artemis tends to be far more lenient on females as a whole. Not sure if she’s of the sapphic persuasion, or if she just doesn’t like how men usually are.”

“Either or, I think,” Persephone answered, folding her hands in her lap rather primly. “Considering how men usually try to pattern themselves after the gods in charge- well. Zeus isn’t exactly a good role model.”

Gaghiel tapped her hand on the table, lookign concerned. “Well, I would have probably stopped and stared in that situation myself - kind of do that anyway as Lamia can attest - so I can’t actually blame the hunters... Dammit, I feel like I’m being politically incorrect again...”

“Hmph, as I said, Artemis will rather let you off lightly than simply cursing you to high heavens and back,” Hades shrugged, then moved on. “Hermes keeps his tomfoolery to other gods for the most part- even over several centuries, I think the worst thing he’s done was  _ maybe _ sire a few heroes? Well, to mortals at least. I’m sure some of my younger siblings will have some complaints to address about his trickery, but I don’t particularly care. He does good work as a psychopomp anyway, so I’m inclined to keep him around to keep Thanatos from working too hard.”

“Poseidon for the  _ list, _ ” Stheno hissed. 

“And  _ Athena, _ ” Medusa agreed.

“Token resistance on daddy’s behalf,” Charybdis snarked. “Nah. Carry on.”

“Speaking of Athena, there’s a little lady who I thought you’d like to meet,” Persephone spoke up again, nudging Hades’ shoulder with a knowing smile on her face while plants bloomed and dissipated in the air around her.

Hades just sighed quietly, shaking his head and muttering something about having to break his own damn rules again and again for his wife before tracing a circle on the table and pulling out…

A spider. A wispy, ghostly spider barely larger than the palm of Hades’ hand- a bit large for an orbweaver, but otherwise just a spider.

“Arachne, the first spider,” Persephone spoke a bit sadly, smiling as the soul of someone that was once a human scuttled about and slowly gained definition, gaining color and solidity until the spider had returned fully to life. “Athena was… well, for being the goddess of wisdom, she was quite irrational about Arachne’s punishment.”

“Hello, little one-” Leliel began, before being interrupted by her older sister.

“Leli, this was a human once,” Gaghiel chided. She bowed at a strange angle. “Greetings, Arachne.”

“...why are you treating her like you would Mata- oooohhhhhh,” Leliel murmured. “Okay, I get it.”

The spider- Arachne, simply looked up at the two of them, waving her pedipalps about in some sort of strange pattern that was probably just her telling the two Angels to hurry the fuck up and give her body back.

Leliel blinked slowly, then tilted her head, eyeballed the basic size of Arachne’s soul made solid once again, then produced a core no larger than a ping pong ball, or maybe a really big grape. After confirming that was what Arachne wanted, she set the inert core down onto the table in front of Arachne, who immediately leaped onto it with as much of a hail mary as a spider could make and-

Sank into it, as if diving into a pool.

The core rippled for a few seconds, growing slightly larger from the added mass of the spider-soul before-

“Argh why is it always so bright!?” Gaghiel yelped, shielding her eyes as the core rose into the air and glowed like the goddamn sun made manifest once again before abruptly dropping a naked girl who looked a lot like a tanned, auburn haired version of Matarael onto the table.

“I have my hands again!” Said girl immediately shouted victoriously, hopping to her feet and doing a little jig, heedless of the fact that she was dancing naked on a table in front of  _ the God of the Dead and the Goddess of Spring _ . And also a bunch of other people as well, but the Angels didn’t mind the show at all, not really.

“... And a spider tramp stamp,” Gaghiel muttered, eyeing said tramp stamp with a raised eyebrow, wondering why, of all places, Arachne’s core had formed directly above her rear and made a spider tattoo around it.

“... And a pretty rockin’ set of tits,” Charybdis deadpanned, watching Arachne’s assets sway around with an almost hypnotized expression. 

“And no clothes,” Hades sighed, covering his eyes and looking away, though Persephone just laughed at the silly display.

Euryale, being at least somewhat sensible, found a nearest sheet and threw it at Arachne. “Here,” she provided. “Cover yourself before Hades perishes from embarrassment.”

“Huh- wh- ah! I’m naked!” Arachne shrieked, covering herself in said sheet and immediately flinging herself off of the table to land in a tangled heap next to Gaghiel, groaning in a mixture of pain from hitting her head on the floor and embarrassment at having flashed literally every part of her body to  _ Hades himself _ for upwards of a minute. With his wife sitting  _ right next to him. _

“It happens,” Gaghiel told her. “All of  _ us _ were naked as well when we first assumed human form.”

Arachne only groaned, whining something incoherent about embarrassing herself forever in front of the only gods she actually cared about.

“What’d you do to get spideried anyway?” Gaghiel asked curiously.

“I decided to try and one up Athena when she came down for a weaving contest,” Arachne grumbled, sitting down at the table and viciously tearing into one of the few buckets of chicken that nobody had managed to demolish yet. “She took exception to the idea that a mortal might have more skill than her in anything.”

"Don't forget the part where you 'dedicated' it to the exploits of my idiot brother," Hades groaned. "Don't get me wrong, Athena's reaction was still disproportionate, but pissing her off on purpose wasn't exactly the brightest idea, little one." 

“Yes, well, that was because she was being really prissy and bragging about how great she and the rest of the gods are,” Arachne mumbled, covering up her embarrassment with another bite of chicken. “A-anyway, point is, Athena turned me into a spider and I only lived for about another three weeks before I got eaten by a bird. What a bitch.”

“What a bitch,” Medusa agreed savagely. “You know she punished me for having the  _ audacity _ to get raped in her temple? Hah, like it was  _ my _ fault or something! Bitch.”

“I think we’ve already been over that particular grievance several times now,” Hades murmured, scribbling on his parchment and grumbling to himself. “I think Psyche might help you with removing Aphrodite from the pantheon- she’s always had a bit of a grudge against her mother in law, and it shows. Eros is a mama’s boy, but if you’re not afraid of kicking him very hard in the testicles then he won’t be a problem- he might even help you defeat Zeus if you ask him nicely.”

"What about Ares?" Lamia asked. 

“Total mama’s boy. Hates Zeus a  _ lot _ for being a bastard to Hera, but he  _ will _ try to kill you if you attack Hera,” Hades answered instantly, wincing a little bit at the thought of Ares.

“He’s kind of a jerk,” Persephone smiled, her flower wreath once more growing thorns to indicate her mood. “And is one of the main causes of death for men in this world.”

“Kills indiscriminately?” Leliel asked.

“He’s a war god, every act of war is done with his blessing and he’s happiest when men are fighting and dying in droves,” Hades spat, grumbling as the parchment crumpled under his suddenly tight grip and glaring off at nothing. “Do you have  _ any _ idea how hard it is to process hundreds of thousands of souls all entering the underworld all at nearly the same time!?”

Leliel coughed. "Ah... Probably not  _ nearly  _ as hard as  _ separating  _ hundreds of thousands of souls from the primordial ooze, making sure that their individualities are intact, and then reintroducing them to a world still being rebuilt." 

Both Hades and Persephone slowly turned their heads towards Leliel. The latter cleared her throat. "...I  _ beg _ your pardon?"

Leliel grimaced. "This is the part where I tell you that our world had a  _ very  _ nasty God War, and it's the reason we'd prefer to take care of the Olympians in a more  _ quiet  _ type of revolution, isn't it." 

“... I’m not sure I want to know the details,” Hades muttered, suddenly paling even more than usual as he thought of the implications. “But… at the risk of my sanity, I must ask. What… exactly happened during that war?”

“Well, all sapient life on the planet died, almost all of the non sapient multicellular life died from the sheer amount of radiation thrown around, most of our entire family died in horribly violent ways, all of us were severely traumatized for life, and also we had to rebuild… oh… how much was it?” Gaghiel asked, looking over at Leliel, who just looked like she’d bit into an especially sour lemon.

“A crater gouged into the earth so large that it ejected a solid zero point six percent of the entire planetary mass into orbit and nearly destabilized the planetary orbit around the sun,” Leliel groaned, rubbing her forehead and doing her very best to try and forget how many decades she’d spent picking up tiny pebbles of terrestrial mass from deep space. “For the record- the moon itself is only one point two percent of the Earth’s mass… though Halkeginia has  _ two _ moons… Well, you understand the scope of things, though, I assume.”

“... I feel as though I’m going to throw up,” Persephone murmured, going just as pale as her husband at the thought of losing a chunk of the planet half the size of the moon.

“It wasn’t a very fun time for us, either,” Gaghiel agreed. “I think Leliel was one of the very few who  _ didn’t _ die, for that matter...”

“Honestly, I’m just glad that Lilith managed to fix everyone without too much fuss,” Leliel sighed and continued rubbing her forehead, staving off the memory of her trauma by pretending it wasn’t there. “As it is- we should do one of two things at the moment. While Gaghiel and I have already gathered more than enough firepower to end the Olympians just in this room with a bit of combat practice, we would rather not have to annihilate all of civilization first. Thus, in the event of pitched combat, we would need an Anchor soul for this realm in order to preserve the souls of all life on this planet in the event of planetary extinction. Hades, for obvious reasons you are the single most viable candidate for such an action.”

The god of the dead stared in mild horror. “I’m not sure what’s worse,” he muttered. “The fact that you’ve done this before at all, or the fact that you were somehow  _ prepared _ in the face of planetary extinction.”

“... We  _ weren’t _ , actually,” Leliel answered bitterly, sighing as she reached into her chest and pulled out a fresh Core, rolling it across the table towards the underworld king and pursing her lips. “We only just barely managed to get Louise’s soul to work for the purpose of handling the planet’s souls, and the only reason why she didn’t  _ break _ from that is because her soul was uniquely attuned to the concept of  _ breaking limits _ and  _ doing the impossible. _ You, on the other hand, are the manager of all the souls of the dead, and your realm is so tied to your being that if you were to house all the souls of the dead within you as an Anchor, it wouldn’t strain you in the  _ slightest _ .”

Hades took a  _ deep _ breath. He then let it out. “I very much would like to have a  _ Talk _ with whoever decided to have this War on your planet in the first place.”

Gaghiel considered that. “...can I watch?”

“I believe I will need one of those as well,” Persephone pointed out, staring at Gaghiel for a long moment until the sharky Angel slid over a Core as well. “I refuse to allow my husband to embark on this foolish crusade without my help.”

“Welcome to the Family,” Leliel snarked. “The ‘god count’ has gone up to eight.”

“So it has,” Persephone nodded, smiling as her soul settled down with the Core now implanted right below her collarbones in the form of a necklace of golden vines, while Hades’ Core manifested itself as the centerpiece of a crown of pitch black wrought iron. “It is… quite nice to be part of a family as accepting and kindhearted as this.”

“You all need therapy,” Hades deadpanned instantly, immediately dropping his expression into a dour, tired squint as he accessed the Network in full. “... I would say  _ I _ need therapy, but my wife and my dog have been good enough for that.”

**“Clearly,”** came from Echidna’s direction, who had been mostly silent while the older Angels discussed things,  **“We need to get everyone else either a wife or a dog.”**

**“It’s certainly worked wonders for me,”** Typhon nodded, holding Echidna’s hand quite plainly in view of everyone else. 

Gaghiel pretended that she wasn’t jealous.

Everyone else pretended they didn’t notice.

“So, now that  _ that _ part’s done- Hades, Persephone. Will you be staying here from now on or are you going to stay in the Underworld like usual?” Leliel asked, motioning at the newly minted Angels and tilting her head. “You are, of course, welcome to stay, but the consideration here is whether or not any of the Olympian gods will notice your change in status if you go back to your own home.”

Hades tapped his chin in contemplation. “I have to admit... I don’t know. Zeus won’t, of course... Tartarus definitely  _ will... _ the others are somewhere between, obviously. I really can’t say.”

“Hmm… I think it would be nice to get out of the house for a while… but Hades still has his duties, and despite the fact that I can come and go as I please now, I would rather not be apart from my husband,” Persephone shrugged, lacing her fingers through Hades’ and smiling brightly at her husband, who simply hid a goofy, lovestruck smile in his sleeve to avoid embarrassing himself.

Everyone politely pretended it was working instead of making him look like even more of a lovestruck goof.

Well, everyone except Typhon, who coughed something along the lines of “you’re adorable”, but he didn’t count.


	10. A Confrontation

“Do you ever wonder why we have such a huge drive to solve people’s problems?” Leliel asked suddenly, tapping her fingers against her knee as she stared out over the ocean a few days after Hades and Persephone joined the family, pursing her lips thoughtfully as she tried to make sense of her own urges. “It seems to be a ubiquitous trait among our entire species, despite the fact that it wasn’t originally in there when we were first made.”

“I don’t know,” Gaghiel shrugged, “but I’m blaming the Ikaris on principle.”

“Well it’s certainly not because of either Yui,” Leliel muttered, picking up a stone and throwing it out over the waves just so she had something to do with her hands. “Both of them are selfish, greedy, megalomaniacal sociopaths whose only consideration for others is manipulating them to cause global armageddon in hopes of enhancing their libidos. It’s not the Gendos either, for much the same reason. And it’s certainly not Shinji either. I mean, okay, Shinji is nice but he certainly isn’t the kind of overwhelmingly nosy altruist that we all seem to be.”

“...well in that case I’m out of ideas,” Gaghiel muttered. “Maybe something from the mages?”

“Louise  _ is _ pretty dead set on helping people despite the fact that she used to be an entitled rich girl,” Leliel murmured, tilting her head and thinking on it further. “... And she was used as the anchor point for Ramiel’s core free will programming. And was the first person added to the mass Network that the Yuis built up. Huh. It all points back to Louise this time, ironically, instead of being Ayanami all the way down.”

“So instead of blaming it on a Yui, we get to blame it on an Asuka?” Gaghiel inquired. “ _ Nice. _ ”

“Mhmm,” Leliel nodded, then sighed again and leaned back into the sand, staring up at the sky as wispy clouds passed by overhead. “Y’know, I have to wonder how the Olympians haven’t actually managed to try and confront us yet. Aren’t they supposed to watch over all domains of land, sea, and sky?”

“They might be drunk,” Gaghiel offered. “Or maybe Hades is running interference.”

**_“Or maybe,”_ ** rumbled a voice from the sky,  **_“They’re right behind you, and wondering what those upstart divinities are doing_ ** **_in our territory._ ** **_”_ **

“... Huh. Shit.” Leliel deadpanned, blinking slowly as she turned around to face the bearded, wrathful form of Zeus, who was indeed standing behind them in all his glory to the point that the lightning crackling off of him started tearing apart the environment around them. “So you are.”

“Damn, I knew we shouldn’t have stepped out of the house today,” Gaghiel sighed, standing up and hauling herself out of the water to face Zeus in full. “So are we throwing down right now or can we still be diplomatic about it?”

"He looks a bit too melodramatic for diplomacy," Leliel deadpanned. She put two fingers in her mouth and  **_whistled_ ** sharply in lieu of elaboration. 

One by one, various heads began popping out of various places, adopting expressions as stormy as the sky behind Zeus upon seeing the god. 

**“Ah. I remember you,”** Typhon rumbled, shifting slightly as his body ballooned up into the sky, forming into a colossal eldritch dragon nearly half again the size of Mount Olympus itself, so large that his hundred serpentine heads had to bend over double to glare down at the suddenly shocked lord of the sky.  **“When last we met, I was less than half this size, a hundred times weaker, and I still tore your tendons from your body and left you weaker than a babe. How will you fare against me now, o King of Gods?”**

**_“Typhon,”_ ** Zeus hissed.  **_“I should have known it was_ ** **_your_ ** **_machinations against me!”_ **

**“It wasn’t, actually,”** Typhon retorted, spreading his wings and looking smug.  **“I’m just a recent addition around here. Why don’t you look at all those your pantheon has oppressed? See how they tower above you?”**

Zeus looked. And paled.

Standing next to Typhon was Echidna, a hundredfold serpentine heads waving around her body and shoulders, a massive draconic beast herself.

Behind him were the Gorgons, each a massive serpent hundreds of feet tall, and Lamia, towering even above them. 

In the sea, Gaghiel  _ stretched _ into her more dangerous Angelic form, and in the sky, Leliel became the same, a ball of shifting stripes and patterns.

Zeus’ eyes widened and he  _ jumped, _ narrowly avoiding the snapping jaws of Charybdis as the latter rose from the depths. **_“What is this!?”_ ** he demanded.  **_“Who are you!?”_ **

“We are those that your rule has cast aside!” Scylla hissed as her heads snapped out from the sky, poison dripping from her fangs as she growled at Zeus. 

“We are the ones who were cursed for the crime of being alive!” Arachne howled as she batted Zeus from the air and cast him down to the rocks at the base of the cliff, her massive spider body towering almost as tall as Typhon himself.

“We are Angels!” Gaghiel finished, leaping high into the air and crashing down upon Zeus with such force that his body cratered the ground and left a hole nearly a hundred feet deep. 

“We right the wrongs that we find. We save those who have been abused and abandoned. We are the death of your rule,” Leliel hissed out, tendrils lashing out of her shadowed body and throwing Zeus far away, letting him tumble and roll to a halt, bleeding ichor from the dozens of scrapes and scratches he’d accrued just in the last few moments. “We will bring down Olympus. You cannot stop us.”

**_“I’ll be back,”_ ** the god of Thunder growled, transforming into a lightning bolt and zigzagging into the sky, leaving a faint yell behind.  _ “With a vengeance!” _

“Well, now they know,” Gaghiel snarked, shrinking back down. “Do we storm Olympus right now, or shall we have something to eat first?”

<>

“Y’know, I’d really protest leaving behind the world we’re supposed to be taking over right now in favor of having brunch, but honestly this is  _ way _ better,” Gaghiel muttered, digging into a hearty Greek lunch at an outdoor cafe after Leliel had brought their group plus Hades and Persephone over to the nearest adjacent Earth, which happened to be a perfectly boring, normal, modern Earth with absolutely nothing interesting going on in the slightest other than global politics.

“Zeus can wait,” Scylla declared. “Food  _ first. _ ”

“Indeed,” Typhon nodded, no longer bolding his words in favor of subtlety as he dug into a rather gargantuan pile of various meats and yogurt and vegetables. “The Olympians couldn’t face me  _ alone _ without cowardly tactics and sealing me under a mountain. The lot of us plus Hades and Persephone could easily destroy Olympus itself with relative ease considering our  _ much _ higher power level.”

“Oh! That reminds me, dear,” Echidna spoke up, prodding Typhon in the side and then glancing at Hades curiously. “Do you remember what happened to your foster mother, Delphyne? Last I heard she wandered off near Delphi but I haven’t seen her in centuries.”

"She's in Hades," the named god grumbled about his namesake lands. "Also quite put out about getting killed by Apollo. I haven’t gotten much detail out of her." 

“Hrmmm… I’m going to castrate that boy,” Typhon grumbled, gritting his teeth and snorting steam from his nostrils as the temperature raised slightly from the force of his annoyance.

“That was the plan, yes,” Persephone nodded primly, folding her hands in her lap as she grinned in a quite vicious manner. “Beat him and castrate him until he can no longer be such an asshole.”

“You know, the locals are  _ still _ looking at us funny,” Gaghiel snarked. “Wonder why.”

“Probably because we’re dressed in chitons and wreaths and talking about castrating people,” Charybdis deadpanned, shoveling a whole plate’s worth of food down her gullet wrapped in bread, like the world’s worst way of eating a messy burrito.

“Also because of  _ that _ hot mess,” Medusa sighed, rubbing her forehead and rolling her eyes. “Charybdis, dearest adopted sister, would it kill you to  _ have table manners when we’re out in public?” _

"Absolutely," Charybdis agreed. "I'm almost contractually obligated to embarrass the living hell out of you." 

"I want to see that contract," Stheno deadpanned. "I want to see the exact paragraph-" 

"I said  _ almost,"  _ Charybdis agreed. "But the obligation is rather well implied." 

“Euuuuuugggghhhhh,” Medusa just groaned, dropping her face into her hands and giving up. “This was bad enough with Stheno and Euryale, why do my new siblings have to be so annoyiiiiiinnnnggggggggggg?”

“Because we’re  _ siblings, _ duh,” Scylla snickered, patting Medusa on the head and grinning. “We’re here to annoy you for the rest of your life, just like your actual siblings.”

“Lord Hades please save me,” Medusa grumbled, reaching out for mercy from the god of the dead… only to have her hopes dashed like helpless sailors against a rock at the hands of a vicious cyclops.

“Sorry dearest little sister, but I’m unfortunately contractually obligated to tell you- ah, dear wife, what was the phrase?” Hades grinned, looking over at Persephone, who tittered behind her hand.

“Get Rekt, I believe it was.”

“Ah yes, thank you. Right, Medusa- dearest, newest little sister…. Get fucking  _ rekt _ .”

“The Angel Hierarchy marks me older than you,” Medusa snapped back. “Go rekt yourself,  _ little brother. _ ”

“She has you there, dear husband,” Persephone chuckled at Hades’ pout, smiling bright and patting her husband on the head until his bad mood dissipated as if it were never there.

Once again, everyone save Typhon and Echidna pretended they weren’t  _ immensely  _ jealous of the married gods’ relationship, Lamia especially, who scooted a bit closer to Gaghiel and leaned against her with a little huff of annoyance.

There were some  _ awwws  _ from around them. 

"We still have an audience, by the way," Charybdis pointed out. "They seem to be split between those who consider us travelling performers, those who can't quite believe that we  _ are  _ actually a family, and various restaurant owners trying to hire us to attract an audience in  _ their  _ establishments too." She grinned. "Personally, I like the third bunch." 

“Let’s hold off on that for now,” Stheno sighed, palming her face at the sheer amount of attention they were drawing before settling back into her seat and basking in the warm, Mediterranean sun. “Mmm, it’s nice being able to sunbathe without threat of Zeus striking me down with lightning.”

"Our dialogue still doesn't help, by the way," Charybdis snickered. "Group Two seems to be revising their opinion to align more with Group One. Man I love people." 

“Yes, well, we should still go home before the Olympians actually try to do something  _ stupid _ in order to spite us,” Leliel muttered, quickly paying for their food and waving off the various onlookers before opening her mouth and speaking a single syllable.

“<>!”


	11. An Unfortunate Realization

Waters around Mount Olympus churned and frothed.

Dark clouds covered the sky.

Zeus was pacing in front of his throne, looking slightly worried.

Poseidon was far more worried, considering that he hadn’t seen Zeus look so worried since the last time Hera beat his ass for cheating on her. And in this case, Hera wasn’t yelling at Zeus, but rather tending to the slight wounds dotting his form.

“... I take it we have a bigger problem than normal,” Poseidon rumbled, his very steps shaking the earth as he strode forth to sit across from his younger brother and King. “So, Lord of the Skies, what are we getting into now? I heard rumbles of Typhon being freed- is it true? Has that monstrous beast truly been released?”

"He has," Hera answered in lieu of her husband. "And he is far from the only one. To hear my husband tell the tale, he was attacked - and  _ damaged!  _ \- by all manner of terrible monsters. I fear we may have a rebellion in our hands..." 

"Typhon was not alone," Zeus growled. "Echidna was with him, and there were more monsters I did not recognise at first. Scylla and Charybdis were among them. The Strait of Messina is empty. How did  _ I _ notice before  _ you _ , brother?" 

“I have better things to keep watch over than a strait that no one goes to except the occasional hero- most of whom I  _ hate _ , mind you,” Poseidon spat, huffing as he swept his beard to the side and glared at Zeus. “So now what? We’re hardly in a position to handle a terasomachy with all the human settlements we now need to watch over these days.”

“... I do not know,” Zeus finally answered after a few moments thought, his eyes twinkling as he drew upon the wisdom of Metis that he’d absorbed all those centuries ago. “Typhon was…  _ larger _ than he was before. Stronger. Those upstart divinities with him were  _ powerful _ in a way that even the Titans are not. If left unchecked, we will actually have a  _ serious threat _ coming our way. And to say nothing of how Hades has seemingly dropped off the face of the World as well.”

"You don't think..." Poseidon began. 

"That they have him hostage?" Zeus finished. "I fear it may be so. Those bastards." 

Poseidon blinked. "I was going to suggest something completely different," he mentioned, "but it's nice to see that you actually care about him in a way..." 

“Of course I care about him, he’s our brother! Just because he refuses to ever come out of his hole in the ground doesn’t mean I don’t care for him! I invite him whenever all of us go and pay our favored mortals a visit, do I not?” Zeus snorted, snapping at Poseidon and gladly taking the chance to get his mind off of heavy topics, if only for a second. “But… still. If he’s been taken hostage, I know not where he may be- either deep underground or somewhere beyond where my sight reaches.”

“We need subtlety,” Poseidon mused. “And/or firepower. Ares exists, so we have the latter covered, but the subtle one was always Hades, so...”

“Athena will know what to do, if we tell her,” Zeus muttered, standing up once Hera had finished bandaging his wounds and leaning on his lightning bolt as if it were a cane. He paid no heed to the scorch marks he left on the floor, shaking his head as he slammed the bolt onto the floor twice and called for his daughter. 

“Athena, come forth! I have need of your wisdom!” he shouted, thunder crashing as he spoke and adding the weight of his lordship to his words.

It wasn't long before the goddess in question poked her head in, blinking in bemusement. "...You're actually  _ asking  _ for my wisdom?" she questioned incredulously. "Who are you and what have you done with my father?" 

"Funny, Athena," Zeus deadpanned. "Brother, stop laughing." The latter statement was directed towards Poseidon, who was leaning on Zeus' throne and was too busy cracking up to come up with a coherent answer. 

Zeus took a deep breath. "Athena, we have a rebellion of monsters in our hands, and I fear that they might have taken my brother Hades hostage," he declared. "... _ Please  _ give me some of your wisdom." 

Athena bit her lip and paced back and forth in front of Zeus, rolling facts and knowledge around in her mind, the world itself bending to her whim as she tugged the strings of the universe for their information.

She considered what she had drawn up, then spoke finally after only a minute of thought, her eyes stormy with barely controlled righteous fury.

_ “We are betrayed.” _

“Hephaistos, my dearest nephew, if I could have a moment of your time?” Hades spoke rather jovially as he drew the lame god to his realm, easing the transition between the living world and under world as he settled the heavily injured god into a comfortable chair. “I have a proposition to make. You need not accept, but so long as you do not spit in the face of my offer, then all will be well.”

"...Hades," Hephaestus spoke warily, glancing around. "Rumours say that you had disappeared. What are you scheming, Uncle?" 

“Revolution,” Hades stated plainly, leaning forward in his throne as he almost loomed over Hephaistos, his eyes hooded as he held out a crimson orb towards the lame god. “I have in my hands an orb of immense power, one that has the ability to cure your lameness, to expand your mind beyond your wildest dreams, and to give you such power that you could defeat Ares with a single strike of your hammer.”

Hephaistos stared at it. "...What's the catch, where did you get it, who told you how or even  _ if _ it works, and what's the catch?" 

"You asked about a catch twice," Hades pointed out. 

Hephaistos threw his hands up. "Because there's  _ always  _ a catch! What in the name of  _ Kronos  _ did you do?" 

“I changed my legal family name,” Hades deadpanned, drastically understating what he’d done. He sighed a moment later, then folded his legs and examined the Core in his hand, as if it were simply a precious bauble to look at. “Zeus hasn’t been running things very well lately has he- I know he’s your father, but you don’t have to lie. I know how you feel about him and Hera, about most of your brethren in Olympus. I’m offering you the chance to cure your lameness and gain power beyond comprehension. As to what the catch is…”

Hades paused, then coughed into his hand and looked to the side. “You may gain a significant boost to your libido. Also by accepting you will no longer be an Olympian.”

“I don’t want to become anything like my father,” Hephaistos deadpanned. “You are right, Uncle, that is a significant catch.”

“You didn’t mention anything about the loss of Olympian status...?” Hades questioned, raising an eyebrow at his nephew. “Curious.”

The lame god huffed. “ _ Please. _ If your revolution goes through, there won’t be Olympians anyway, will there? Okay, fine. Gimme that.”

“To be fair, the libido increase is nowhere near the levels of your idiot of a father,” Hades rolled his eyes before reaching forward and pressing the Core to Hephaistos’ chest, making yelp in surprise as the orb fused to his chest and-

“Hm, that  _ is _ uncomfortably bright in close proximity,” Hades drawled, watching impassively as Hephaistos’ body changed and warped slightly until he stood tall, no longer stooped over or lame, no longer ugly- though he was still nowhere near conventionally attractive, he was still quite handsome in a rugged, wild, rough sort of way.

“... Did. Did this make my dick bigger too!?” Hephaistos immediately yelped, adjusting his blacksmith’s apron and crossing his legs before he noticed his new body. “... The pain is gone. My legs work… MY LEGS WORK! I CAN WALK!”

“Told you,” Hades grinned. “Now, want to hear the rest of the plan, or do you plan on just staring your naked body in the mirror all day long? Because I can leave you alone if you want me to.”

“... I think I’m going to stare at myself for a while,” Hephaistos muttered, still in awe of his newfound beauty. “It’s… it’s been centuries since I’ve felt good about myself…”

  
Hades rolled his eyes. “ _ Right. _ ”


	12. Dawdling

“... So how long has Hephaistos been staring and posing in the mirror like a Pillar Man?” Gaghiel muttered quietly in the vague direction of Hades, pointedly not staring off in the direction of Hephaistos’ room, from which the forge god had yet to emerge after several hours.

"Since he became one of us," Hades murmured. "Honestly, I don't blame him. His whole life, he's been mocked for his appearance, and he clearly was unhappy with his body. Let him have it." 

“It’s fine, really, but like, it’s almost dinner time and Leliel is on the phone with the Thai restaurant right now and she wants to know if Hephaistos has anything in particular he wants,” Gaghiel shrugged, then pursed her lips and turned towards said door, rubbing her chin. “D’you think he’d mind if we ordered for him or would he prefer making the decision himself?”

“He’s never  _ had _ Thai before,” Hades deadpanned. “Just... order something not too spicy and let him figure it out from there, hmm?”

“Okay yeah good point,” Gaghiel agreed. “Later, then.”

Hades nodded slowly, then watched as Gaghiel skipped away before turning to face Persephone, who slipped out of the shadows and settled down next to him in the loveseat, pressing her face into his neck. “I missed you, my love.”

“I’ve only been gone an hour,” Persephone giggled, tracing circles across Hades’ chest with her finger and kissing him gently. “It’s not like I was on some great journey, y’know.”

"Plenty of great journeys can happen in under an hour," Hades declared with utmost seriousness. "In fact, I seem to recall an  _ incredible  _ journey the two of us had, taking a mere fifty minutes yet feeling oh so much longer~" 

"You incorrigible smooth-talker you," Persephone giggled once more. "We're nearly at dinnertime, you know. Wouldn't want to spoil the appetite, now would you~?" 

“Mmm, I can think of a few things that would be spoiled, but an appetite is not one of them~” Hades purred, running his hands through the tangled, wavy locks of Persephone’s hair, freshly cleaned and smelling of nothing short of a vast meadow of flowers in the summer, of honey and fruit and the scent of the sea breeze and sun, all things spring and summer and lively and pure. “Ahh~ if we could but stay like this forever, I would be satisfied all the same.”

“I think she meant  _ our _ appetite,” Charybdis spoke from behind them. “Seriously, you two are giving me a toothache just by  _ proximity. _ ”

“Jealous are we, dearest cousin?” Hades chuckled, continuing to cuddle with Persephone, both of them sticking their tongues out childishly as they held up their matching wedding rings. 

Charybdis contemplated that. "Good question," she murmured. "I don't actually know." 

“Hmm, well, that sounds like a you problem,” Hades chuckled, while Persephone just shrugged and sat up straight, patting Hades on the chest when he made a disappointed murmur. 

“Hush, darling. We shouldn’t make our own family uncomfortable,” Persephone paused and then turned back to Charybdis, then shrugged. “Then again, it’s been a while since I’ve had anyone I could embarrass without being punished for it.”

"I mostly love how unseriously we're taking the Olympians," Charybdis admitted. "Like, yes, they hurt us. But are we giving them the satisfaction of treating them as a threat? No! We're having Thai for dinner! I fucking love it." 

“Well, short of actively destroying the entire world, there really isn’t a whole lot they can do to us now is there?” Persephone asked idly, running her fingers through Hades’ hair and smiling. “Not even Gaia herself would truly wish harm on us, considering that uncle Zeus is more or less slated to be overthrown anyway- he’s been the sitting ruler for much too long, all things considered.”

“True,” Charybdis admitted, sitting on the nearest chair and leaning back. “Don’t get me wrong, I still want to fucking  _ impale _ Zeus for what he did to me, but he can wait, you know?”

“Of course he can, we’re immortal. The only question is how many more shall we add to our family here before we’re truly ‘ready’ to destroy Olympus?” Hades muttered, slowly standing up and lifting Persephone into his arms in the process, carrying her in a bridal position with a small smile on his lips. “Typhon alone could destroy Olympus without much effort- he is, after all, thousands of times more powerful than when he tried and almost succeeded the first time.”

“The world is full of the lost, the forgotten, and the downtrodden,” Charybdis sighed. “We’ll be finding and rescuing them all the time regardless of if Olympus stands or not. I just figure someone's going to get up one morning and just go take care of them. It feels like that kind of anticlimax around here.”

“That’s entirely possible, but for now we have dinner to get to, and since I can’t spoil my appetite…” Hades chuckled and began walking towards the door, Persephone giggling in his arms. “I suppose we’ll just have to wait til afterwards.”

Charybdis rolled her eyes. "To dinner, then," she snarked. 

<>

“This is without a doubt… the  _ weirdest _ thing I’ve ever tasted in my life,” Hephaistos spoke awkwardly, shoveling Thai takeout into his mouth at a pace that only a lonely hard working bachelor sequestered away in isolation could manage. “It’s good, though, just… weird.”

"It's all downhill from there," Scylla joked. "First Thai, then Indian, then  _ Norse...  _ You might as well accept it now~!" 

“... I don’t know what any of those are, but I want them in my mouth right now,” Hephaistos deadpanned, not even stopping in his one man crusade to shove as much curry, noodles, and fried rice into his gullet as possible before he physically exploded. Somehow, despite the noises emanating from his seat, he could still speak clearly, which was… impressive and also very, very weird.

Charybdis, from across the table, raised an eyebrow, a smirk blooming on her face. “What about a delicacy known as ‘Coq au Homme’?’”

“.... Charybdis that joke doesn’t even  _ work _ ,” Stheno groaned, palming her face at Charybdis’ terrible understanding of French. “You literally just said “cock  _ with _ man”, which doesn’t even make grammatical sense!”

“... If you were trying to bait me into a gay joke, I do need to remind you that almost all Olympians, me included, are bisexual,” Hephaistos deadpanned, rolling his eyes at Charybdis with several chicken drumsticks hanging out of his mouth as he spoke. “So yes, I’d suck a dick.”

“Well, you  _ did _ bring up putting things in your mouth,” Charybdis reminded. “I just took it to its natural conclusion.”

“Fair enough,” Hephaistos nodded, then returned to shoveling food down his mouth. Hades, being the one unfortunate enough to sit next to his nephew/brother, simply grimaced as Hephaistos’ horrid eating habits splattered the left sleeve of his robe with droplets of sauce and bits of food. 

“That reminds me,” Medusa noted from across the table. “Hephaistos, is there anyone else in your family that you want to get out before we invade Olympus?”

Hephaistos paused, tapping his chin and making a few thoughtful noises as he wiped his mouth and sat back. “Artemis is alright. Athena is too loyal to Zeus… Apollo is kind of a jerk honestly but he’s not the worst. Dionysus will be fine, I think. Hestia too. Demeter- Persephone, do you want your mother with us?”

“Absolutely not,” Persephone immediately shook her head, sticking out her tongue a little. “We shouldn’t kill her or anything but I do  _ not _ want Mother as part of this family Network.”

“Completely understandable,” Charybdis nodded. “Oh, oh, I just made the connection - isn’t she basically the ‘Annoying Vegan’ archetype?”

“No, it’s more that I don’t want my mother being around to harp on me and my husband constantly,” Persephone huffed, crossing her arms and pouting. “Whenever I stay here on the surface she’s just  _ constantly _ nagging at me-  _ Persephone you’re going to be late for Spring, Persephone you need more flowers in Acarnania, Persephone you need to tell Apollo that Thessally needs more sunlight- _ on and on and  _ on!  _ It just  _ never stops!” _

“Sounds awful,” Charybdis agreed. “Wish I had a mom to nag at me.”

“Trust me, you’ll quickly regret it,” Persephone sighed, shaking her head and dropping the subject. “Oh, we should at least ask if Hermes would join us. He’s always a sucker for underdogs, and we’re technically the underdog in this entire endeavor… even if we  _ do _ have Typhon.”

“Oh, that reminds me, actually-” Hades spoke up, opening a portal to the Underworld next to the table. “Typhon, you mentioned Delphyne the other day. Would you like her to join us as well?”

The monster looked very conflicted suddenly. “Erm. Probably? I mean, don’t get me wrong, a mom’s a mom, but... I dunno. What if she doesn’t approve of my loss? What if she doesn’t approve of Echidna? What if-”

“Just for that, I’m doing it anyway,” Hades immediately deadpanned, dragging the soul of the serpent Delphyne through the portal and slamming a Core into the soul’s chest with a flash of light. “Welcome back to life, Delphyne of Delphi, adopted mother of Typhon. I apologize for my… er,  _ nephew _ slaying you way back when. Welcome to the family. Would you like to say hello to your son?”

“... Y’know, with the amount of dead monsters, heroes, and other souls with grievances against the Olympians down there in Hades, we might be able to just raise an army without even tapping into the monsters on earth,” Arachne muttered, staring at Delphyne with a calculating gaze.

**“But is it worth it to use the dead for our own purposes?”** Echidna asked. She cracked up right after.  **“Nah, can’t say that with a straight face. Let’s raise an army!”**

“Hello my son- well, adopted son,” Delphyne spoke calmly as she stood near Typhon, reaching up and patting his head with a gentle smile on her face. “How have you been since my untimely death at the hands of Apollo?”

**“I’ve been… well enough I suppose. It is… nice to have peers and family that truly care for me and support me,”** Typhon murmured, nuzzling unconsciously against Delphyne’s hand and shrinking in on himself a little as he stopped reflexively trying to make himself look larger.  **“I was trapped under a mountain for some time, though.”**

“I heard about that,” Delphyne nodded. “Nasty business. So tell me - how did you escape at last? Have you made the Olympians pay dearly for this insult to you?”

**“I kicked Zeus around a little as a warm up, which was honestly so much more cathartic than I thought it would be,”** Typhon chuckled, flexing his claws and grinning.  **“And… I escaped thanks to my- I suppose** **_our_ ** **now, thanks to the rules of adoption… new older sister, Scylla. She- well.”**

“I swam through molten magma and plopped a Core in his chest,” Scylla finished, sighing and rolling her eyes. “It’s a lot less impressive than it sounds considering I wasn’t even seriously harmed.”

“You displayed a very impressive list of swears,” Charybdis snarked. “Some in languages that don’t exist here yet, in fact.”

“... I see,” Delphyne muttered, blinking slowly as she realized just what kind of family she’d ended up joining inadvertently. “Well, I thank you for releasing my son from the confines of his prison. That reminds me, actually…”

She pursed her hips and looked around, tapping her heel against the ground. “If we truly wish to usurp Olympian rule, perhaps we could invite into the family the two beings that have the absolute most right of rule in this universe?”

“...who’s that again?” Gaghiel asked cluelessly.

“... You are not seriously suggesting we Core the  _ planet _ ,” Hades immediately stood up, an incredulous expression on his face. 

“And the sky too,” Delphyne pointed out, holding her hands up and pointing at both the ground and the ceiling- or rather, at the sky and earth. “Ouranos and Gaia have the most right to rule this planet out of anyone, considering they  _ are _ the planet.”

“...we’re gonna need either a bigger Core or to find their Avatars,” Leliel deadpanned. “I’d suggest the Avatars though. Just as a thought, you know.”

“Well, if we wander far enough into the woods or whatever and call for Gaia- probably if we go to the birthplace of the Titans actually- they’ll probably show up,” Stheno mentioned, waving her fork around idly as she spoke. “.... Hm. We should get the Titans involved too. I’m sure grunkle Kronos will want to visit some kind of humiliation upon Zeus for getting the Hecatoncheires to chuck giant rocks at his head.”

“Kronos thought a good way to not deal with his kids was to eat them,” Hades deadpanned. “How about  _ no _ on that lot.”

“... Oh yeah, I forgot that grunkle Kronos ate you,” Stheno muttered, blushing awkwardly and looking away. “What about gr- hm. There’s no way to make great grand aunt shorter. Dammit. What about auntie Rhea?”

“Rhea works, I guess,” Hades allowed cautiously.

“Great, I’ll add her to the list,” Stheno chirped back, scribbling something down on a sheet of paper before turning back to her dinner. 

“Y’know, I can’t help but feel that Typhon and I are honestly the only ones that actually need to be there to kill the Olympians,” Medusa muttered, letting her hair twist into snakes as her eyes began glowing for emphasis. “Powerful as they may be, I don’t think that they’re quite strong enough to resist my petrifying gaze for too long.”

“You know,” Gaghiel mused, “I get what you’re on about, but I wanna come. Was it not I who swore to make them pay for their crimes? No, I will join you for Olympus.”

  
**“Then it is decided,”** Typhon rumbled.


	13. Victory!

**“ZEUS! YOUR TIME OF RECKONING HAS COME!”** Typhon bellowed as he rose above the clouds, the true breadth of his titanic form stretching high into the sky, beyond the clouds, beyond the height of Mount Olympus, stretching so high that his wild, billowing hair blotted out the sun.

From on high, Apollo gaped down in shock, the sun dipping in brightness as the sheer  _ wind _ of Typhon’s movements buffeted him around without pause. “By Gaia, he’s huge!”

Dozens of minor gods scattered in Typhon’s wake, scrambling to avoid being completely crushed and annihilated, not just from the monster’s gigantic legs, but from the oppressive, unstoppable  _ weight _ of his soul.

Fire lanced through the sky as Typhon’s heads roared, belching fire and brimstone like the very depths of Mount Etna had.

Thunder rumbled and crashed, black clouds roiling and gathering around Olympus proper as the king of the gods rose to the occasion.

The waves roiled at the far-off beach as Gaghiel raced around in the waters, accelerating the water erosion to ridiculous levels and carving out land towards the mountain itself.

And at the foot of the mountain, Medusa slipped by anyone else undetected. 

Zeus, meanwhile, rode out into battle upon a flying chariot drawn by eagles, holding his thunderbolts aloft as he entered furious combat with the monstrous Typhon, god against beast, Olympian against abomination.

The earth  _ howled _ at the force of their combat, the other gods joining in moments later as they fought with bow and arrow, fierce beams of sunfire and shafts of cutting moonlight, nature itself, the oceans and hail as sharp as a thousand knives.

The gods seemed evenly matched against the furious beast, holding it at bay even as Typhon’s ruinous breath scorched the very foundations of Mount Olympus, burning away massive swathes of newly grown forest while his thunderous footsteps churned the earth into barren, lifeless sand.

And then-

**“BURN!”** Typhon screamed, the weight of his  _ Soul _ pressing down upon the Olympians as the very nature of the world changed and  _ Hellfire sprang forth _ , setting the gods and goddesses alight with unquenchable black flames that burned with the heat of the deepest recesses of the Earth itself.

“ _ CAREFUL! _ ” Gaghiel hollered from the trenches she was carving. “We don’t want too much fog around here!”

Typhon only roared louder in response, drowning out the sound of Gaghiel’s voice to keep the Olympians from noticing her presence. And on the battle raged, Typhon swiping at the gods and goddesses kiting around him like flies, setting them alight and making them drop to the ground, screaming in agony as their flesh charred and ichor poured from their wounds.

And then-

Medusa struck. 

Agonized screams suddenly ceased as Medusa’s gaze petrified the gods on the ground, the snaky angel darting about and thrusting the weight of her soul onto the Olympians with cruel and callous intent, her tail lashing out and smashing the newly formed statues into so much rubble with nary a backwards glance.

Ares was the first to die. Then Aphrodite.

Hundreds of unlucky spirits and lesser deities that just so happened to be in the way were petrified all the same, though spared from true death for the time being.

Typhon grinned cruelly as he flapped his great wings, creating galeforces not seen in this world since the times of the primordial Chaos. A great tearing noise echoed across the land from the sheer speed of his wings, a cacophonous thunderclap that shredded the very foundations of Olympus and threw all save Zeus and Poseidon away- the Storm god only just barely standing even now due to his control of the weather and the Ocean god having hidden behind an impenetrable spout of water drawn from the sea in an instant.

Gaghiel, however, had been waiting for that, and struck the God of the Seas with all of the considerable might that she possessed as a Greater Angel. 

Poseidon  _ crumpled,  _ vomiting a stream of golden ichor as his body folded around Gaghiel’s enormous beak like a sheet of paper, screaming in agony as Gaghiel rocketed high into the air, breaching like a dolphin before  _ slamming him into the ground _ with all the force of a meteor strike.

Poseidon shattered, his body crushed beyond recognition by the sheer force and weight and strength behind Gaghiel’s soul assisted impact. The seas abruptly fell silent, placid and calm and all but lifeless with no god to rule the waves.

**_"Brother!!!"_ ** Zeus roared in anguish, staring down at the suddenly calm seas. 

That moment of distraction cost him. 

With a deafening roar and an almighty  **_PUNCH_ ** , Typhon struck out and summarily  _ crushed _ the King of the Gods like a particularly overripe grape, his augmented strength- increased a thousandfold since the one time he had ripped out Zeus’ tendons- and the sheer weight of his Soul pressing down working together to erase the King of Gods from existence and render him naught but a wisp of a soul torn to shreds and a thin golden paste of ichor clinging stubbornly to Typhon’s knuckles.

"And now, all that is left are the stragglers," Medusa called out joyously. "Dibs on Athena!" 

“Y’know, somehow I expected that to be a  _ lot _ harder,” Gaghiel muttered, shifting back to human form and wiping the blood from her lips. “Then again, it’s not like the Gods here are actually all that powerful by Modern standards. Barely any of them can just straight up blow up a mountain with the same kind of contemptuous ease that most Angels can these days.”

**“Look alive, Angels,”** Typhon cautioned.  **“Just because the head of the chicken has been cut off doesn’t mean it’s dead yet.”**

“Well yeah, the hard part is pretty much done,” Gaghiel shrugged, then paused. “Wait shit. I think we might have… uh… shit. Shit shit shit. We’re gonna have to deal with and explain to a bunch of people that we just usurped the  _ entire Pantheon _ and deal with that somehow.”

“You already  _ own Sparta, _ ” Medusa deadpanned. “Start with  _ them. _ ”

“Y’know, somehow I forgot about that,” Gaghiel sighed, rubbing her forehead and shaking her head slowly. “Right, you two clean up all the stragglers, I’m gonna go quick travel to Sparta and… I dunno, conquer the Mediterranean under our banner? Whatever.

<>!”

“Hello, brother,” Hades greeted, feeling just a little bit  _ too _ smug. “Fancy seeing you here in the underworld. Died recently, have you?”

“Shut your mouth, traitor. I’ve nothing to say to the likes of you,” Zeus spat, crossing his arms and huffing irritably at Hades’ dumb stupid grinning smug face as he sat rather uncomfortably in the chair provided to him. “What did those blasted upstarts promise you anyway? Riches? Power? Women? No, none of those make sense because you’re  _ the richest of all of us, _ are the ruler of the  _ entire _ Underworld, and are somehow  _ still _ happily married after seven hundred years!”

“The chance to kick your ass for being such a terrible ruler of humanity,” Hades deadpanned. “Because you were  _ actually terrible _ at your job. The  _ one job _ you had. The job you accepted all too happily after we defeated dear old  _ Father _ .”

“The-” Zeus spluttered. “This was about the  _ job!? _ Are you  _ actually serious _ right now?”

“Considering that I’ve not yet chained you to a rock for eternity like you did to Prometheus that one time, what  _ else _ could it have been?” Hades snorted, rolling his eyes as he sat back in his chair and sighed. “The fact of the matter is, just about everyone upstairs in our little pantheon has been running roughshod over just about everyone- mortal or not- for the last nearly a thousand years. I mean can you even count the amount of nymphs and lesser goddesses that  _ Apollo alone _ has sent down here just because he couldn’t take a hint? I’ll give you a hint:  _ it’s  _ **_many_ ** **.** To say  _ nothing _ about all the spirits and goddesses that Hera or you or some of the other twelve up on Olympus high have turned into slavering beasts destined to be murdered by some enterprising half breed  _ hero _ looking to make his name and be a king. Some of those  _ beasts _ were our  _ family _ !”

"We're gods," Zeus defended himself feebly. "The demigods needed to be shown their place - the mortals needed their cautionary tales - and besides, didn't  _ your  _ coup send just as many here?" 

“No, because the total population of Olympus rarely ever surpassed two hundred servant spirits and deities at any one time and Apollo  _ alone _ has been a driving factor in the deaths of nearly  _ eight thousand _ forest nymphs. Not total,  _ just forest nymphs _ ,” Hades hissed, throwing a ledger at Zeus’ face, as thick and heavy as a crate full of phone books. “ _ To say nothing of how many women you’ve inadvertently killed because you couldn’t keep it tucked in your tunic.” _

"I'm not...  _ that  _ bad..." the former King of Gods protested. "I know not to stick my dick in crazy, after all..." 

"No, you  _ don't,"  _ Hades disagreed. "But the point is  _ moot  _ anyway, given that  _ the crazy keeps sticking his dick in every woman he meets!"  _

“... Well, I managed to stay away from Thetis!” Zeus continued trying to cover his own ass, only succeeding in realizing that, as he read the ledger in his hands, he had, in fact, slept with so many women that not only were just about  _ half _ of the nearly hundreds of thousands of lesser gods across the lands his bastard children, but some of them had lineages spanning back  _ centuries _ where almost every new goddess in the family had been impregnated by him at least  _ once _ . “... Er… hrm.”

"You  _ see _ now?" Hades hissed. "And let's now get into just  _ how big  _ of a percent of those is  _ rape,  _ now shall we?" 

“... Didn’t  _ you _ basically kidnap your  _ wife?” _ Zeus asked, raising his eyebrow as he snapped the ledger closed and tossed it back onto Hades’ desk. “I hardly think rape is the  _ worst _ thing you think I’ve done… er, which, I suppose it actually isn’t, come to think of it.”

"I should point out that my wife and I love each other very much, unlike you and  _ yours,"  _ Hades deadpanned. "And  _ do  _ enlighten me." 

“Let’s not and say we did,” Zeus countered immediately, standing up and crossing his arms as he drew on the power he still had even in death. “So, instead of that, what will you do now that I’m within your realm, hm? I can’t possibly imagine you’d be able to chain me to a punishment for all eternity like the wretched mortal souls here.”

"Not here, no," Hades agreed. "However, as God of the Underworld and now a part of the Family, I suddenly have access to a lot  **more** realms than before. So tell me,  _ Brother-"  _ Hades leaned forward with an almost sharklike grin - "Where do you  _ not  _ want to go?" 

“... Hades, you and I both know sending me to a place that’s actually torturous is far more work than you want to deal with so can you just chain me to a rock and make an eagle tear out my liver for all eternity already?” Zeus sighed, already sick and tired of being dead now that he had nothing to do but reflect on his actions in the past. “You know, like I did with Prometheus that one time.”

Hades let out a sinister chuckle. "It's far less work than you  _ think,  _ little brother. Look! A tear into Hell has already manifested below you. And hey, who knows -  _ you might meet new people in there~!" _

“Wait wh- No no no no no no no!” Zeus screamed as he fell through the tear in dimensions, shrieking like a little girl as he descended into the worst iteration of Hell possible.

“Next!” Hades drawled boredly, leaning back in his chair as Hera swept into the room, regal and imperious even in death.

“What is the meaning of this!?” the goddess demanded. “To betray us, the Guardians of Olympus, to  _ Typhon _ of all people - and for  _ what!? _ ”

“Now now, dear sister, I know you were listening in on my conversation with Zeus,” Hades sighed, motioning for Hera to sit down. “So I’ll be frank with you. You’re a terrible mother, a terrible guardian, a terrible ruler, a jealous bint who never actually dealt with the problem in your marriage, just the symptoms, and also did I mention you’re a massive bitch to everyone who  _ doesn’t _ deserve it? Honestly, the only thing you do these days is occasionally bless a marriage or send down Eileithyia to do the midwifery instead of you. In fact, you’re responsible for  _ hundreds _ more failed marriages than actually successful ones, considering the amount of women you’ve either murdered, cast down, or cursed over the millennia.”

“It’s not like I  _ wanted _ the job,” Hera sneered. “I just wanted to fuck Zeus, but I couldn’t even do  _ that, _ now could I?”

“Taking your own petty grudges out on everyone who looked at you funny was neither a constructive activity nor an excuse you can pawn off on my brother,” Hades noted. “So he couldn’t keep it in his pants. You knew what you were getting into when you married him, you know?”

“I did  _ not _ , actually, considering that he didn’t start sleeping his way around the islands until  _ after _ we were married,” Hera hissed, raising her middle finger at Hades and sitting down with a huff.

Hades raised an unimpressed eyebrow. “I’ll be adding ‘maliciously oblivious’ to the list,” he commented. “Out of curiosity, can you think of anything you did wrong  _ yourself? _ That is, is there anything in your actions that you  _ actually _ consider wrong, or are you content to just stick your head up your ass and go from there?”

“.... I may have been a little harsh on poor Leto,” Hera admitted, twiddling her thumbs a bit. “Artemis and Apollo…  _ are _ rather nice. Unlike most of Zeus’ bastards.”

"At least you admit  _ something,"  _ Hades grumbled, making a note. "Also, I  _ must  _ disagree with you about Apollo, he's responsible for ninety percent of my nymph population... Anyway." 

The God of the Dead raised his gaze and looked Hera in the eye. "Just for your information," he said seriously, "you're still going to a Hell. But not the one Zeus went to." 

Hades smiled as a swirling portal appeared under Hera. "Try not to die in the Purges," he advised. 

Hera had just enough time to give Hades a questioning look before she immediately dropped into a new portal, shrieking with both fear and righteous indignation before the portal snapped closed and left the office in silence.

“Next!” Hades called out, then blinked and coughed awkwardly as  _ Demeter _ of all goddesses trudged into the room, taking a seat without prompting and just glaring at Hades.

He gulped. “Mother in law. Younger Sister.”

“Son in law. Eldest Brother.”

“... You can go back to the mortal realm.” Hades immediately capitulated, wincing as he swept a portal across the room and returned Demeter to the world of the living so he wouldn’t have to deal with the icy, frigid stare of his wife’s mother and his baby sister. “...  _ Yikes _ . That was awkward.”

He shuffled his notes. “...next?”

Apollo flounced into the room, took one look at Hades’ suddenly murderous expression, and attempted to flee immediately.

Given how he just bounced off the door right after, it did not go well for him.

“Well hello there, nephew,” Hades greeted him cheerfully. Too cheerfully.

  
He leaned forward.  _ “How nice of you to drop in.” _


	14. Let's go fishing

“Persephone- I don’t mean to order you around when I’m in this state but um-” Artemis coughed awkwardly into her fist as she stared at the bleeding, crying form of her younger twin, fidgeting a bit as Persephone continued whipping him with a truly horrendous mass of thorns, nettles, poison oak, and gods knew what other horrible plants woven into its length. “Don’t you think you’re going a little far…? We do kind of still need him in one piece to drive the sun around...”

“You could literally  _ replace him with a horse _ ,” Persephone snarled. “No,  _ a horse could do a better job _ without raping everything in  _ sight. _ ”

“... Well I mean yes,” Artemis paused with her mouth open, trying to think of a reason to spare Apollo from Persephone’s fury. “... Actually y’know what, go ahead. Dumb bastard deserves it for trying to fuck half the nymph population on the planet and killing two thirds of that half.”

“Don’t worry, we’ll get to your punishments too,” Persephone noted. “Cain instinct or not, you shouldn’t throw your own brother under the bus like that...”

“...What’s a Cain instinct?” Artemis asked. “What’s a  _ bus? _ ”

She paused, then held up a finger questioningly. “Wait, what punishments? The only people I ever cursed or killed deserved it for being jerks. And, again, Apollo deserves getting knocked down a peg.”

“One of our resident sapphics wants to  _ talk _ to you about the crime of appreciating the view and the topic of gender equality,” Persephone informed her fellow goddess dryly. “I didn’t ask.”

“... I see.” Artemis deadpanned, then immediately turned around and walked away. “... I suppose I’ll leave you to it then.”

“Don’t avoid it and go find Gaghiel,” Persephone suggested, before turning back to Apollo and lashing out with her whip of thorns. “And YOU! Don’t even think that you can worm yourself away! Get back here and take your chops like the man you  _ claim _ to be!”

“I am  _ not _ sticking around for this,” Artemis sighed, running out and ignoring Apollo’s whimpering cries for Artemis to come back and save him. “... Now who is Gaghiel, and why am I feeling an immense sense of impending doom?”

“Well  _ hello _ there, you pretty little thing~!”

Uh oh.

“... Is it too late to get whipped by stinging nettles?” Artemis asked, feeling a chill run down her back as something hard and throbbing slid  _ up _ her back, gulping quietly as a pair of arms wrapped around behind her and the scent of sex all but flooded the corridor.

“Only if you want~!” the voice giggled back, before dragging Artemis through a portal and into the depths beyond.

Artemis  _ screamed. _

She would not stop screaming for the next seven days.

<>

“Right, I’ll need to  _ deep _ clean that room,” Hades deadpanned as he listened to Gaghiel  _ enthusiastically _ “punish” Artemis, rubbing his forehead and taking a deep drag off of his morning coffee. “Persephone, why did you let them use our  _ house _ for such… depravity?”

“You know,” Persephone mused, “I’ve forgotten. But I’m sure I had a  _ reason... _ ”

“Well, what’s done is done,” Hades sighed, gently taking Persephone into his arms and kissing her. “Now, I believe we have yet another long day ahead of us, so we should make the most of the morning while we can~”

"Oh honey, you took the words right out of my mouth~," Persephone purred. "Shall we adjourn to the bedroom~?" 

“And like that, I think I’m gonna go vacate this house,” Hephaistos loudly announced, scooting past his uncle with a disgruntled expression on his face. “You two have fun I guess. I’m gonna go hang out with Typhon.”

“Have fun, Nephew~!” Hades yelled out, only receiving a slammed door as a response.

“Ugh, it’s bad enough that I have to deal with the fact that most of my family is gonna get tossed into various forms of Hell, but now I have to deal with most of the other half getting laid or tossed into Elysium,” Hephaistos groaned, storming away from the house and rolling his neck, tromping through the fields of Asphodel and watched the various souls mill about aimlessly- as meagre and mediocre and utterly human as they were in life, despite their lack of identity. “Well. At least Typhon knows how to keep it in his pants for longer than five minutes.”

“You don’t want to get laid yourself?” someone asked.

“Oh, hello Charybdis,” Hephaistos acknowledged. “Er. Is there a right answer?”

“It’s fine to be asexual,” Charybdis shrugged, casually strolling along beside her new brother/cousin without a care in the world. “It’s fine to be a nymphomaniac. As some of our older and wiser family members would say, the only thing that matters is that you’re happy.”

“Sex just... reminds me of Father’s... habits,” Hephaistos confessed. “I’m not sure if it’s something I want to be around or not.”

“Again, none of us really care that much if you don’t like sex,” Charybdis shrugged again, looking over at Hephaistos with a discerning expression. “And since you’re basically double immortal now, it’s not like you have to make a decision right away.”

“‘Double immortality’ sounds really kind of stupid,” Hephaistos observed.

“Tell that to Sun Wukong, the bastard’s like, septuple immortal,” Charybdis muttered, crossing her arms a bit. “I wonder, actually… hmmm… I wonder if anyone in the family is interested in going off to ancient China for a bit?”

“...do I want to know?” Hephaistos inquired mildly.

“Probably not, but if you do want to catch up to speed with everything, you could just trawl through the relevant sections of the Family Network,” Charybdis answered, then tilted her head and began following a different fork in the path through Asphodel. “Aaanyway, this is my turn off. Seeya later!”

“Seeya,” Hephaistos mumbled. 

<>

“Y’know, I never actually got to enjoy fishing,” Typhon pointed out idly as he and Hephaistos floated along on a small raft, the oceans flourishing once again now that they’d gotten a few lesser deities and older ocean gods to take up the mantle again now that Poseidon was gone. “Y’know, since I used to be bigger than a mountain. And also focused on trying to kill Zeus.”

“It’s amazing how much a lack of murder frees up your schedule,” Hephaistos snarked. “Simply mind-boggling.”

“I know right? Turns out that now that my self imposed mission is done, I have all the time in the world to enjoy the simple things,” Typhon grinned, throwing his arm around Hephaistos. “Like beer and wine and flowers and puppies! Echidna says that they remind her too much of Cerberus, but I mean we see the pup every day now so I don’t get why she doesn’t like other puppies as much.”

“Maybe she’s jealous?” the god of the forge suggested. “Just... putting it out there.”

“Maybe, though I’m certain that’s not it,” Typhon shrugged, then sat back in his seat and pulled a flask of wine out from under his seat. “So, how’s life been for you lately?”

“Everyone around me is getting laid,” Hephaistos groaned. “And Father’s....  _ Proclivities... _ put me off anything similar for a long time at least, so it’s a pain being around most people these days.”

“Hm, that  _ does _ sound like a problem,” Typhon agreed, tapping his chin and shrugging. “Though I can’t say I’m entirely that much better considering the fact that Echidna and I are trying for a properly sired child right now.”

“...no details, please,” Hephaistos begged.

“Of course, of course.” Typhon agreed, patting Hephaistos on the back and passing him the flask. “On another note- how is your forging going? Now that no one is asking you to equip their armies, i can’t imagine that there’s too much work anymore.”

Hephaistos brightened. “Oh, it’s going splendidly! I’m completely free to work on my own projects - in fact, I’m working on vehicles right now!”

“...Like the ones on those alternate planets Leliel occasionally shows us?” Typhon asked. “How’s that going?”

“No, not  _ exactly _ like that,” Hephaistos disagreed. “But close? I guess? I’m actually working out mechanics for them from first principles, it should be a  _ fascinating _ project...”

“Well, that’s wonderful! Mind you, I wouldn’t know my way around a workshop if I tried, but good on you for still loving your job,” Typhon nodded, grinning brightly as he hauled up a fish and immediately cleaned and gutted it in an impressive display of knifework. 

Hephaistos hummed. “With all the various alternate worlds we know, there’s a non-zero chance I’ll end up with something similar to an existing creation, but I’ll know it was I who came up with it, and that’s what matters, doesn’t it?”

“Indeed,” Typhon nodded again, a bit more seriously this time. “Well, above all else, I’m glad you’ve something that makes you happy.”

Hephaistos grinned proudly. “I know, right?”

Typhon chuckled, patting Hephaistos on the shoulder again. “Now, speaking of your forge, I find myself curious- what sort of stories do you have about that place? I must have missed all the fun happenings whilst I was trapped beneath it and I find myself curious.”

The god of the forge hummed. “I think I’ll have to disappoint you there - it was actually surprisingly dull in there...”

“Really? Hm, well, I suppose a master smith’s forge wouldn’t be the best place to have amusing accidents,” Typhon shrugged. “Oh well.”

“Yeah, you’re out of luck there,” Hephaistos admitted. “Also out of luck here. I have twice as many fish as you do.”

“Wha- when did you do that!?” Typhon immediately yelped, staring at Hephaistos’ bucket in shock. “That bucket was empty less than five minutes ago! How did you get so many!?”

Hephaistos paused, looking at the bucket. “Okay, I could have  _ sworn _ I had only four fish compared to your two,” he muttered. “Am I being punked?”

“I think both of us are being punked,” Typhon grumbled, then looked around the boat and sighed. “Ah. That’s why. Naiads.”

“Hello!” said Naiads waved, snickering as they drew both Gods’ attention whilst another one sneakily slipped yet another fish into the boat. “We were wondering how long it’d take you to notice!”

"To be fair, we  _ were  _ having a bro moment," Hephaistos pointed out. 

The Naiads just collectively snickered again, all six of them diving back down into the depths and leaving Typhon and Hephaistos upon their boat.

“... Do y’think we shoulda chosen a fishing area  _ without _ Naiads?” Typhon asked idly, frowning a bit as he cast his line out again. 

“If one of them gets tangled on our lines, we’ll just throw them back in,” Hephaistos deadpanned. “Apollo isn’t around to torment them anymore after all, you know? Let the girls enjoy themselves.”

“I meant more so we wouldn’t have to deal with them getting stuck,” Typhon clarified, grumbling a bit as he reeled in his line and disintegrated the seaweed covered sandal stuck to the hook. “How in the hell did a sandal get all the way down there…?”

“If you talk to fishermen, you can pull anything out,” Hephaistos groused. “Also, I meant the fact that they’re everywhere these days. Spirits coming out of the woodwork. Stuff like that.”

“True, true. I have noticed many,  _ many _ more spirits about lately,” Typhon nodded, then paused as a large ship sailed by on the horizon, bearing a curious new flag. “Huh. Is that one of Gaghiel’s?”

“Sure seems like it,” Hephaistos nodded.

“Interesting.”


	15. An abrupt but inevitable end

“We did it,” Gaghiel noted, leaning back on her beach chair, a touch of wonder in her voice. “Holy shit, we actually did it. We freed Hellas.”

“I’m as surprised as you are- I thought it’d be much more difficult considering our combined lack of direct combat skills,” Leliel muttered, sitting down on her own chair with wide eyes, staring out over the expanse of ocean before them and the now freed land before them. “.... I can’t believe it’s taken less than a  _ year _ .”

“Do you think we’re the fastest to pull that off?” Gaghiel asked, genuinely curious. “You know, if we’re to believe that everyone else’s vacations are also derailed by fighting gods?”

“By chapter count, currently yes,” Leliel nodded, idly motioning at the narration surrounding them. “In terms of actual time scale…. Well, it’s been about seven months here, but I’m pretty sure one of the other groups might break six despite arguably taking longer.”

“I very much would like to know who had the bright idea to give us that awareness,” Gaghiel grumbled, “and punch them. This is  _ still _ weirding me out.”

_ “That _ might have technically been partially my fault,” Leliel stated, raising a finger before pulling up the tangled web of their family tree and pondering the list of names. “The sheer amount of space warping and dimensional warping Angels popping up lately probably made it worse… and it was definitely Kokabiel who fucked it up for everyone.”

“Actually, I’m probably blaming Raziel,” Gaghiel decided. “She started the trend, after all...”

“If she hadn’t started the trend,” Leliel pointed out, “then we probably wouldn’t have come here at all. And where would that leave Hellas?”

“... I almost wanna say potentially fine after a few centuries, but that only covers the humans,” Gaghiel muttered, frowning off at the distance and huffing. “To say nothing of all the spirits and deities crushed under the stupidity of the Olympians.”

Leliel nodded sadly. “But look on the bright side - we’re here. We made it. We freed them. I, personally at the very least, am happy how that turned out.”

“Mhmm… though, I was kind of hoping it’d happen near like, the end of the year instead of being somewhere in the middle,” Gaghiel muttered, then huffed and leaned back in her chair. “ADAM, how has it already been this long, and yet it hasn’t been this long at all?”

“Passage of time is  _ weird, _ ” Leliel deadpanned.

“So it is,” Gaghiel nodded, then sat up slowly and looked around. “Hey do you wanna go get some lunch?”

"Oh, absolutely," Leliel grinned. Lunch sounded nice. 

<>

“It seems as though this whole debacle is finally coming to a close,” Arachne murmured quietly, weaving a brilliant tapestry depicting the grand battle of Olympus that had happened mere weeks prior. “I wonder what the Fates had to say about how quickly this all went…”

“The Fates are off emptying Dionysos’ wine cellar,” Medusa declared, walking into the room. “Hello Arachne. How goes?”

“Very well, Medusa,” Arachne nodded towards her new sibling, motioning for the snakey lady to sit down as she continued passing fibers over each other, weaving her tapestry into something truly grand. “Though I suppose it would be better if I had some form of reference image for the scene I am creating- one’s imagination only does so much, as it were.”

“I took some pictures,” Medusa admitted. “I couldn’t  _ not, _ it turns out. Phones, eh?”

“Ah, lovely devices,” Arachne nodded, holding her hand out to Medusa and making a grabby motion. “Hand it over, I need reference photos.”

“Yeah, yeah,” the Gorgon nodded amicably, tossing her phone over. “Man. It must feel great to do this again without fearing repercussions, eh?”

“Absolute catharsis,” the spider agreed. “Do recommend.”

“Blaspheming against the gods of yesteryear, ah, such a delight,” Medusa chuckled, sitting beside Arachne and examining the tapestry in all its lurid detail. “Ooh, you even got me shattering Athena into a billion pieces- nice!”

“It’s the little things,” Arachne nodded amicably, digging through Medusa’s gallery. “Oh  _ my. _ Gaghiel truly is a force of nature, isn’t she?”

“That she is- I’m not sure what she’s always on about, calling herself useless and all, but she’s, well…” Medusa sighed and admired the images of Gaghiel tearing apart Mount Olympus’ foundations with a wild tsunami just from the wake of her passing. “ _ Breathtaking _ in action.”

“Self-worth issues are a thing anywhere, it seems,” Arachne murmured.

“Our new family is kind of a hotbed of those, amongst other neuroses,” Medusa deadpanned, shaking her head and groaning. “The only upside to that is that everyone else has managed to perfect a therapy formula that mostly involves going on a therapeutic vacation full of violence and catharsis.”

“...That sounds like it’s going to lead to an ever-expanding web of vacations until nobody knows where the Family ends and everything else begins,” Arachne deadpanned.

“Probably,” Medusa nodded. “That, or maybe we’ll just end up going to therapy.”

“Didn’t you just say that the vacations were a therapy formula?” Arachne shot back. “I’m willing to  _ bet _ they’re not going to deviate from that.”

“... Yeah that’s true.” Medusa nodded, then paused and turned to Arachne with a sly grin. “Hey… that reminds me. When you’re done with that tapestry…. Wanna go on a vacation?”

Arachne contemplated that thought. “You know what, dearest Medusa? I’d love to.”

<>

“It’s ending,” Hades murmured, staring out over the vast expanse of the Hellenistic world as life went on, sitting on a bench with Persephone and simply watching the bustle of humanity down below. “This journey, I mean.”

“It’s not been a very long one, has it?” Persephone asked idly, running her fingers through Hades’ hair and weaving flowers between the strands. “Hardly a year, less that even.”

“And yet, a total upheaval of the pantheon, domains restored to a primal and more chaotic, less centralized form, the death of much of our family- though, to be fair, they deserved it- and the unchaining of our own existences from the Underworld,” Hades answered back. “An eventful seven months, all told.”

“I’m just happy that Apollo is gone,” Persephone snickered.

“I think the entire newly released nymph population is,” Hades joined in his wife’s laughter, holding her close and simply basking in her presence. “It’s been too long since I could enjoy a summer with you, my love… And here we are now, our first summer together…”

“It’d be longer if I had any say in it,” Demeter muttered inaudibly as she walked past, ignoring the lovebirds as she dragged a massive piece of rubble up the mountain to where she, the remaining other olympians, and several hundred lesser deities were trying to rebuild the palace of Olympus.

Without the sheer amount of statues commemorating Zeus’ ego, it was honestly going quite well.

“I think Hellas finally has a chance to heal,” Persephone murmured. “It’ll be good for the world. How about we head off elsewhere? See the sights? Leave them to their own devices? It’ll be good for us, too...”

“Our own little special vacation, or a proper, chaotic, Family style Vacation?” Hades asked, a light smile playing across his face. 

“Let’s leave the Family Vacations to everyone else,” Persephone giggled. “I think I just want to see the sights with my handsome husband. Wouldn’t you agree, darling?”

“I think I’d love it, my beautiful wife,” Hades agreed.

“Very well, then let’s be off,” Persephone nodded, gently holding onto Hades’ hand as the bench they sat upon fell back into the aether, taking the two of them with it.

<>

“Hmm… it kind of feels odd how fast this all went,” Typhon murmured, twiddling his thumbs as he and Echidna sat peacefully by their new beachside home, a gaggle of their more sentient children playing on the beach now that they’d been freed from their curses and terrible fates. “But y’know, I think it’s for the best. After all, it means I get to stay with you, my beloved.”

“I never thought something like this would happen during any of our lifetimes,” Echidna agreed. “And yet... I’m kind of glad, you know?”

“Definitely,” Typhon nodded, leaning his head against Echidna’s shoulder and sighing happily. “It’s… idyllic. In a way that I never could have imagined before. It’s certainly not ruling Olympus and casting the world into a kingdom in my own image, but… I think it’s better this way.”

“Mm…” Echidna nodded, playing with Typhon’s hair as they stared out over the calm, blue waves.

The sun shone down on quiet, liberated Hellas, warm and sweet, drawn across the sky by a fleet of spirits and their horses.

Gaghiel and Leliel rested. Their new family members scattered off to see the world and enjoy life as they never could before.

The story came to a close.

The end.

<>

“... What, were you expecting something else?” Tabris asked, rolling his eyes and shutting the metaphorical book.

“Go home, it’s done. Everything worth talking about’s been done already.”


End file.
